BEGIN (AGAIN)

| Anne C. Williamson | - Originally posted January 11, 2015

Confession: It's been a tough week. Of course, I know full well, relatively speaking, it hasn't really been that tough; my family has the necessities: food, water, heat, Frozen on DVD. But, regardless, I've been stumbling this week, trying and failing to push beyond circumstances and the wonky way my mind sometimes works.

I believe these weeks find me occasionally for a purpose: they bring me to my knees, remind me life is not about control but surrender... in the best possible way. My heart feels small so I must break it open with a prayer of "help." I stop managing it all well enough, long enough to see grace again... to really need grace again.  

Beginnings can look like this. They often do. And, not just in late January. All year long we find ourselves slid back into old patterns, thoughts, distractions that then propel us to choose, once again, to begin again.

For me, this is one of the main reasons I crave deep, thoughtful, spiritual community. It often gives me more grace than I give myself, while at the same time, holds me accountable to the kind of life I want to lead. It is kind faces with whom I share my story, and wise perspectives I never would have heard on my own. It's the space to practice, to begin something new or for the umpteenth time. It's time set apart to c/Connect. 

This is what WAYfinding is for me and for many of you. I am so glad, and I look forward to kicking off another round of groups - of blessed discussions, experiences, sharing - this week!

There is always room for more voices at the table. If you're curious, consider checking-out a group this week - or in the weeks to come. Simply fill out this form. Groups this round meet:

Mondays, 7:30 – 9:00p – Mom’s Group (Meridian-Kessler) (Org. Facilitator: Lindsay)
Wednesdays, 11:30a - 1:00p (Meridian-Kessler) (Org. Facilitator: Rick)
Wednesdays, 7:00 – 9:00p (Downtown) (Org. Facilitator: Stew)
Thursdays, 7:00 - 9:00p (Meridian Hills) (Org. Facilitator: Jess)

Author’s 2019 Note: It’s interesting that much of the above blog applies to my experience this past week too - except Frozen has been replaced with Moana… Disney, you’re just too good! And yet, and this is gratifying to notice, this week was also not as hard as that week years ago, and I don’t think it has much to do with circumstances. I see the ways in which I am approaching life and my own “wonky mind” differently now. For example, I am teaching myself to not try and “push beyond” circumstances and the way my mind works sometimes but rather relax into them, allow them to be what they are, and notice, release, move from there. It’s subtle, and it’s helping. I share this because, first, and this is important: yea! And, second, the journey to one’s own spirit, to our True Self, does help. Who knows if we ever “arrive.” Lately, I’m thinking that’s not the point anyway. But, it seems to me, that when I follow my curiosity and creativity, my capacity for love and empathy - toward self and others and the Earth - and thus my capacity for joy does grow. It is not a straight line up in one direction but it is a moving toward, maybe a moving in that mysteriously also brings me more out than ever before. How nice to get this reminder. So, I thought I’d share it with you too. May it be so.

WHAT KIND OF COMMUNITY IS NEEDED NOW?

We're spending the next two weeks in groups talking about community. Specifically, what kind of community is needed now in our society and how do we create it? We're going to be discussing "fitting in," common enemy intimacy, loneliness, social media and the trickiness of in-person community too, vulnerability and boundaries, empathy, forgiveness, and our inextricable human connection.

The below video, though focused on addiction, speaks so beautifully to our need for connection that I wanted to share it with you here. My favorite excerpt:

“Human beings have an innate need to bond and connect. When we are happy and healthy we will bond with the people around us. But when we can’t because we’re traumatized, isolated or beaten down by life, we will bond with something that gives us some sense of relief. It might be checking our smartphones constantly. It might be pornography. It might be gambling, etc. but we will bond with something because that is our human nature. The path out of unhealthy bonding is to form healthy bonds – to be connected to people who you want to be present with. Addiction is just one symptom of the crisis of disconnection that’s happening all around us. We all feel it....

For too long, we’ve talked only about individual recovery from addiction, but we need now to talk about social recovery. Because something has gone wrong with us as a group.... We are going to have to change the unnatural way we live and rediscover each other. The opposite of addiction is not sobriety; the opposite of addiction is connection.”

I hope you'll watch the whole video. It's worth it!

- Anne

TRUE BELONGING

| Anne Williamson |

We gather because it helps.

Life is hard and hard to figure out. It helps to give voice to this, to collectively belong to the questions and vulnerability, and to encourage one another in them. It helps – or more likely is absolutely necessary – to hear new narratives and perspectives in this questioning, “figuring out,” and living well.

This possible, "macro" reason for gathering is all about the benefits of community. And, clearly, not just any community; a community that truly helps holds certain values, engages in certain practices. Many of these are research-based, and we'll be discussing them in the coming weeks. But, this week, as we begin diving deeper into the topic of "Why Gather?," we're going to discuss Brene Brown's assertion that the kinds of communities for which we long are not possible without first belonging to one's self. She calls this "true belonging" - defined above - and this week we explore this idea for our own sake as well as the communities we long to create and sustain.

IN MARRIAGE AND DEMOCRACY WE MUST STOP DEMONIZING THE "OTHER"

| Anne Williamson |

Synchronicity. It’s a great word – to say, but even more so, to experience. As I was imagining and researching the topics for this round, I came across two seemingly unrelated articles: one, on why some marriages last and others fail, and the other, a conversation between former President Obama and author Marilynne Robinson on, among other things, the state of America’s democracy. Surprisingly, the two articles discussed similar ideas.

As I continued researching Robinson’s perspective on democracy, the growing similarities between it and creating lasting relationships turned my initial calm curiosity into outright geeky giddiness. Don’t worry; I’ll spare you the graduate paper I wish I had been assigned. I simply want to use this week’s blog post to encourage you to read and discuss. WAYfinding participants this round get the benefit of me having culled the most relevant segments from four unique Robinson conversations and articles, but for others reading this, start here. Then, also read the marriage article, which is not just for the coupled among us. In particular, pay attention to what both articles say about how to stop demonizing the o/Other in your life so there's space for a new story to emerge.  

Many of you are already taking part in a WAYfinding group this week, giving space and new perspectives to your reflections. This, among other things, is the gift of what we do in WAYfinding. But, if you’re not in a group, first, you're welcome anytime. We're at the halfway point, and you'd be welcome to jump in (at half the cost) for the last 4 weeks to see what you think. Sign-up for the group of your choice here. Or, if participating isn’t possible, set an intention to read and share these articles and your thoughts with others. Loving better than we did yesterday – like relationships, like democracy – is not a given, it’s (to borrow Robinson’s words) “a made thing that we make continuously.” May it be so for you this week.

SPIRITUALITY & THE TWELVE STEPS

An atheist Twelve Steps participant recently wrote that the Twelve Steps do not require him to believe in God, but rather, to stop playing God. This statement expresses beautifully what sits at the foundation of any true spiritual journey: humility. The Twelve Steps offers this truth – which is a process – perhaps better than any other tradition.

In America we love to play Master, riding the two delusions of our own absolute rightness and own absolute control. Deep down we know the truth – we ache inside its walls – but our ego, oh our ego – as poet W.H. Auden put it, our ego would rather us “be ruined than changed.”  

The spiritual journey begins and continues with humbly facing the truth of your own life. It is being honest about what is, accepting it as part of your story and then including it as you transcend it. This is the process – not the destination – of enlightenment, salvation, recovery, liberation, whatever-you-want-to-call-it. True freedom is knowing “all is well” not because God is in control but because we have access to a Consciousness – some call it God – that allows us to be strangely at peace with not being in control.

And then, despite this knowing, to get to work anyway. Because, it is not just our own journey that will continue (or not) with whether we humbly face the truth, but our American journey as well. The Twelve Steps knows this; the whole process is done in community, and eventually, for community.

This is the spiritual path of the twelve steps. Join us over the next eight weeks as we raise our consciousness. To do so is for our own wholeness and peace as well as the communities in which we live. 

Week of...
April 3 - The Four Assumptions
April 10 - Power(lessness) (Steps 1 & 2)
April 17 - What Does "Surrender" Mean? (Step 3)
April 24 - 360 Degrees of Honesty (Steps 4 & 5)
May 1 - Letting Go & Opening Up (Steps 6 & 7)
May 8 - Transcend & Include (Steps 8 & 9)
May 15 - Consciousness (Steps 10 & 11)
May 22 - A Love That Is Greater Than I (Step 12)

Click for group meeting times and locations, cost, and to sign up.

BEGINNINGS

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

Confession: It's been a tough week. Of course, I know full well, relatively speaking, it hasn't really been that tough; my family has the necessities: food, water, heat, Frozen on DVD. But, regardless, I've been stumbling this week, trying and failing to push beyond circumstances and the wonky way my mind sometimes works.

I believe these weeks find me occasionally for a purpose: they bring me to my knees, remind me life is not about control but surrender... in the best possible way. My heart feels small so I must break it open with a prayer of "help." I stop managing it all well enough, long enough to see grace again... to really need grace again.  

Beginnings can look like this. They often do. And, not just in early January. All year long we find ourselves slid back into old patterns, thoughts, distractions that then propel us to choose, once again, to begin again.

For me, this is one of the main reasons I crave deep, thoughtful, spiritual community. It often gives me more grace than I give myself, while at the same time, holds me accountable to the kind of life I want to lead. It's kind faces with whom I share my story, and wise perspectives I never would have heard on my own. It's the space to practice, to begin something new or for the umpteenth time. It's time set apart to c/Connect. 

This is what WAYfinding is for me and for many of you. I am so glad, and I look forward to kicking off another round of groups - of blessed discussions, experiences, sharing - this week! You'll find our topics schedule below or here. 

We're welcoming many new faces this round, and there is always more room at the table. If you're curious, please consider signing-up or checking-out a group this week - or in the weeks to come. You may email me or fill out this form. Groups this round meet:

Tuesday evenings, 7:00p - 9:00p
Wednesday evenings, 7:00p - 9:00p
Wednesday evenings, 7:00p - 9:00p (Mom's Group)
Thursday lunches, 12:00p - 1:15p

Groups are hosted in rotating homes, but generally, they'll be held in the SoBro area.