A month or so ago, a fellow WAYfinder sent me Barbara Brown Taylor’s Learning to Walk in the Dark. What a gift this book has been to me. Such a gift that I’ve decided, this spring round, to share it with all of you. Each week we’ll gather to discuss a chapter or two, as well as (as always) engage in a spiritual practice and “check in” with one another. Read a beautiful description of the book below and then sign up to join us for conversation and connection this spring. …
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INCH BY INCH
Note from Anne: Hello WAYfinding community! I am back to work and looking forward to all that is in store for WAYfinding this fall. Stay tuned for some exciting announcements in the coming weeks, including details about our Fall 2018 Round - which will begin in mid-September.
Many of you have jumped back into "fall" routines or are easing your way into such space. I am too. One truth I became acutely aware of over the past month is life does not stop so I can make new (healthier) habits. While each seasonal beginning brings an opportunity to reflect, edit and add, new ways of being necessarily take shape in the midst of the mess of it all. So, as I encourage myself in this truth, I encourage you too.
What edit, add, shift would help you to live more fully and compassionately this fall? And, how can you help yourself accept that its implementation will be irregular, imperfect because, well, you're a human living a human life?
"Inch by inch... and do it again... one day you'll see... you set yourself free." - India Arie
MAY WE ALL CONTINUE TO FIND OUR WAY
| Anne Williamson |
For at least 6 months now, maybe longer, I have received this message every time I open my computer: “Your startup disk is full. You need to make more space available on your startup disk by deleting files.” So naturally, I simply moved a few things around, deleted just enough files, to keep working.
I didn’t get it.
Even after sensing I needed and taking a “break” in January, I kept pushing. I used that time to get caught up on administrative “to-do’s”. Physically, I continued plowing through cold after cold, knowing my body was trying to tell me something but ultimately ignoring it.
Then, about two months ago, I opened my computer and got this message: “Your hard drive is full.”
It hit me like a ton of bricks. I had a good cry. I could feel it deep in my bones. I am creatively, spiritually, even emotionally, spent.
So, I am taking some time. July 2nd – August 6th to be exact.
The black feminist activist Audre Lorde famously said, “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.”
I plan to learn from Ms. Lorde over the coming weeks. I am not a person of color, so I will never have that significant daily “battle” with which to contend. But, I am a woman, a wife and a mother… and in our culture, these roles are expected to, I was socialized to, give and give (for no pay, of course). Add onto this identity, minister, and I have felt myself, I have let myself, be slowly washed away.
So, I am leaning into holding these roles in new ways in my life… using my privilege to shine light on the truth and carve new ways forward for myself and others. I am doing this for me… because I love myself… and for my girls, my husband, my family and friends, WAYfinding, and all those who could use another sustained voice for justice, mental health, boundaries, joy and equality.
Here’s to the next leg of the journey. May we all continue to find our way.
A WHOLE BIGGER FAMILY
WAYfinder Ashley Parsons says, "We so often ask our kids to do things we ourselves do not do." This is so true. Much more often, we need to "dive in" and do those things we're asking alongside our kids. Or, if we don't have kids, simply be "kid-like" and do them ourselves.
So, this week, I offer you a recent email I sent to our WAYkids' parents. The words and practices offered are not just for the kids among us; they're for all of us.
Hello! Summer is (nearly) upon us, and with it, an opportunity to slow down and connect - both lowercase “c” and uppercase “C.” Though WAYkids will largely be on break this summer, I want to take this opportunity to offer you a few ideas for continuing your family’s WAYkids’ journey.
Many of you participated in Sunday’s White Pines Wilderness Academy event. What a cool place! So much of what we heard and experienced had a spiritual component, so simply to add to that…
We began this year reading the book What Is God? by Etan Boritzer. The book begins, "What is God? You are asking a very, very big question!” So true. When I talk to kids about God, I like to acknowledge this fact: “What is God is such a big question that all people - both living today and those who lived long ago - have tried to answer this question and come up with lots of different answers.” I continue by explaining, “I too am trying to answer this question for myself. And, you can answer this question for yourself too. But, you’ll have to be very curious and open, explore, investigate and ask loads of questions. You’ll need to ask ‘What is God?’ in big spaces, like crowds and the whole forest. And, you’ll need to get very small and ask “What is God?” between just two people in the crowd - like you and your mom/dad - and the tiny ant marching along the forest floor. Because God is in all of it."
Because of this, I think nature is a natural and beautiful space for kids to experience and wonder about God. Many of us probably feel this way as adults too. I know I do. So, I want to offer a nature practice and meditation for your summer wanderings…
1. Sensory Nature Walk: Dr. Mark Germine said, "Our ability to cognitively abstract our contact with the world constantly takes our sensory experience and hides it under a veil of thought. The resulting loss of connection is, I think, the greatest ill that plagues humankind. It is the cause of many problems in the individual and in society.” The kind of slow and intentional presence a sensory nature walk requires of us helps us get out of our heads so we can experience and c/Connect directly. Our kids are usually naturally better at this than we are, but we still need to nurture this c/Connection. Use the attached Sensory Nature Scavenger Hunt with your kids to c/Connect this summer.
2. First and foremost, it’s important to just Be in the above experience with yourself and your kids. That is enough. But, if it intuitively feels right, you may want to ask your child(ren) at various points in your walk, “If this moment right now is God or tells us about God, what is God do you think? What does God feel like to you?”
3. Adapted from What Is God? by Etan Boritzer
"What Is g/God?" Meditation
If you want feel g/God, close your eyes, and listen to your breath go slowly in and out. Think how you are connected to everything, even if you are not touching everything.
Try to feel how you are connected to your Mom or Dad. Try to feel how you are part of your whole family, like your brother or sister, your grandparents, your aunts and uncles, cousins, even your friends.
And try to feel how all of those people are part of a whole bigger family. And how all the families of the world (even those we can't see or touch) are really a part of you and your family.
Now try and feel how all the families of the world include more than just human families: there are animal families and plant families, this forest is a family. We call this kind of family an ecosystem. Try and feel how these families are really a part of you and your family too.
If you can start to feel g/God like that, then maybe you will soon feel the whole answer to that very, very big question that everyone asks, "What is God?"
Take a deep breath in and out and slowly open your eyes.
I hope these practices prove to be c/Connective for you and your child(ren) this summer! Stay tuned for a service opportunity at some point as well. And, thank you for participating in another year of WAYkids!
Thank you!,
Anne
Love Needs an Icon
| Anne C. Williamson |
My dad and I have a number of things in common: love of sweets, lack of patience, perfectionism, an entrepreneurial spirit, a good heart, and a love of romantic comedies. Yes, you read the last one right. I’d often find him laughing at Hanks and Ryan, or Roberts and Grant, while reviewing medical charts or organizing drawers.
One of our family favorites is Love Actually. For a romantic comedy, it deals with some difficult human realities: death, betrayal, loneliness, boundaries. It’s also a lot of fun; think Hugh Grant dancing to The Pointer Sisters’ “Jump.” One of my favorite scenes is the last one. In it, Grant speaks these words to images of people embracing…
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TOWARD A SIMPLER AMERICAN (HOLIDAY) STORY
| Anne Williamson |
I am not the poster child for simple living. I don’t live in a tiny house in the woods off the grid. I don’t raise livestock, darn socks or knit. I enjoy eating out, and many nights, thank g/God for TV dinners. We own two cars and more stuff than we need.
This does not mean I don’t strive to live simpler. Over a span of 15 years, I have made significant changes in the way I live and interact with “stuff.” I started off making these changes out of concern for my fellow humans and our planet. I keep making changes also because I've found peace in doing so....
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THE HEROINE'S JOURNEY (ON SLAYING ONE'S OWN DRAGONS)
| Ageeth Sluis |
I remember that it was shortly after I had moved to the US in 1989 that I saw the now iconic Bill Moyer interview series with Joseph Campbell, The Power of Myth, which showed an aged but nonetheless beaming and brimming Campbell as he took viewers, and most certainly me, into the fascinating and mysterious world of ancient myths, connecting symbols and archetypes to everyday lives and the world of now, my world of now.
Campbell was inspiring, especially to someone having come to the US to study. His way of being an academic was refreshing. A renowned expert on Comparative Religion, Campbell nonetheless took an “iconoclastic road” as a scholar, teacher and writer. He was, in the words of one biographer “an ecstatic scholar,” who, rather than adhering to the scientific rationalism that characterized the academy during the post-World War II era in which he found himself, recognized that “Life was not a problem to be solved but a mystery to be lived.” His “Tao of Scholarship” took him “beyond the hallowed halls of traditional academia and into a spiritual and psychological view of mythology, which embraces the transcendent Reality referred to by the saints and shamans that can be directly experienced.” [1]
It was this enthusiasm, irreverence and lived knowledge (as well as the fact that Campbell seemingly could care less about religious dogma and doctrine and that for him all religions and spiritualities were equal, similar in their messages and mythical archetypes) that grabbed me....
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EXPLORING YOUR NARCISSISM AS A TOOL FOR HEALING
| Chad Brown |
Now I know what you might be thinking, “Did he just call me a narcissist?” The answer is no… and maybe. I want to state from the beginning that this post is in no way making light of someone’s otherwise serious condition or diagnosis. The purpose of this post is to review some interesting points about this subject in the interest of becoming more aware of our internal and external experience, and looking more deeply at a subject that we seem to recognize more in others than ourselves.
I have been on a general spiritual journey for about 23 years; however, for the last four years, I have been on a more specific journey focused on what many of us refer to as “healing,” and what I have more recently come to call “integrating.” (More on that integration part later.) I have explored, studied and participated in a multitude of healing modalities and stress relieving techniques, all of which have taught me more about myself and helped me understand why I have been in such confusing pain and, sometimes, so painfully confused.
Recently, I came across an article on the many different types of narcissism. I was intrigued by this; I didn’t know there were several kinds. As I read more articles, educating myself on the potential signs of this condition, a question crept up behind me and tapped me on the shoulder, “Are you a narcissist?”...
Read MoreWHAT CAN YOU GIVE?
WAYfinders & Friends,
It’s hard to believe WAYfinding was four years old this past October. It’s been quite a journey.
From the very beginning, WAYfinding has been both scrappy experiment and grand vision. It’s been four years of giving ideas a shot, watching some work and others sputter, and ultimately, always trying again. Four years of being and growing, and yet always also imagining and discerning what comes next. Four years of creating a beautiful community movement where folks from diverse theological and ideological perspectives can come together to explore the big questions and practice what it means to be compassionate and loving. And, four years of growing from 8 people in one group to, this fall, 60 people in seven groups and 20 WAYkids.
I am proud of what we’ve created. I hope you are too.
It has also been four years of piecing together a scrappy budget. This is okay. Sweat equity and “making it work” is all part of building something new. But, it’s important we begin making big leaps toward becoming a financially sustainable organization. We need to support the work we’re doing, if we want to continue it and innovate.
To this end, as we head into 2017, I am writing you with a financial update and ask....
TO GET WHERE WE'RE GOING...
| Rev. Carolyn Lesmeister |
Regular “exercise” is part of the daily lives of many octogenarians, but for those in Blue Zone communities, that doesn’t mean what you might think.
Rather than spending extra hours at the gym or walking for the sake of accumulating miles, such people live in environments conducive to making regular movement a natural part of their everyday lives. They don’t have to go out of their way to get exercise because it is structured into what they already do.
Often, this is as simple as doing regular tasks by hand, the old-fashioned way, without the assistance of modern technology and devices....
Read MoreEATING WHAT WORKS FOR YOU
| Ashley Parsons |
When I was a massage therapist, I would ask my clients, “Do you treat your car better than your body?” When we buy a car, the dealer tells us to make sure we use the right gasoline, change our oil regularly, keep coolant in the radiator and make sure to go to our regular maintenance inspections. What would happen if we didn’t? At best, our cars would stop running. Would we ever put anything other than gasoline in our engine? Not unless you wanted to replace your engine. Would you drive your car on a highway at 90 mph for days or weeks on end, without a break? Probably not. Yet, we (me included) do this everyday with our bodies. We go all day long, with no breaks, and we refuel with nutrient deficient foods. Unfortunately, our bodies don’t have a check engine light they can turn on, nor do we start smoking out of our ears or get a flat tire. Our bodies do start to get run down and not function at their optimal levels. Our “parts” get overworked and worn out.
When it comes to food, the things we put in our mouth have changed tremendously over the past 100 years....
Read MoreCREATING MEANINGFUL MEALS
| Anne Williamson |
Saturday, many from the WAYfinding community gathered for dinner and conversation around creating meaningful meals. We prepped and served spaghetti and salad - delicious, and inspired by last week's "Friday Night Meatballs" article, intentionally simple. Then, while the kids engaged in their own learning activities, the adults heard from Indiana farmer Jeff Hawkins of Hawkins Family Farms. What a joy! Jeff and his family's approach to farming is holistic and deeply thoughtful. I, and others, left feeling inspired and hopeful for Indiana agriculture.
So engrossed in the conversation with Jeff, we didn't get to part 2: creating a more meaningful experience around the dinner table. It's about being intentional with this time - living into our values - rather than simply going through the motions when we eat. So in lieu of that conversation, and for others who may be interested, I invite you to reflect personally on the below questions as well as consider integrating some of the suggested ideas....
THE MYTH OF INDEPENDENCE
| Anne Williamson |
Always curious, even anxious, about what I was meant to do with my life, as a teenager, my parents lovingly took me to a career counselor. The process took nearly all day, as there were numerous interviews, and aptitude and personality tests. Finally, all three of us sat down with the head honcho to hear his analysis of my results. What would he say? Was my vocational destiny finally to be revealed?
It was not. I remember only two things from that conversation. One, he did not say I would one day become an unconventional minister. And, two, he did say I was “neurotically self-reliant.”
It is for this second remembrance that I share this story. I often think our entire society shares my disease....
THE TRUE HOLISM OF HEALTH
| Anne Williamson |
Watching Dan Buettner's 2011 TEDMED Talk on Blue Zones fills me with both relief and dread. In it, Buettner shares the key to health and vitality he's discovered through studying pockets of people around the world with the highest proportion of people who reach 100 (i.e. Blue Zones) as well as those rare communities who have improved their health and maintained it: the whole system must be addressed. Perhaps you now understand my contradictory response.
On the one hand, my health and vitality is not, cannot be, entirely in my hands. What a relief! Shame, be gone! On the other hand, my health and vitality is not entirely in my hands, meaning a whole system must be corrected! The Yiddish exclamation "oy vey" comes to mind. This is bound to be a complicated, lengthy process! Can we really change all the misguided systems and policies that affect our collective health in this country? Can we change culture?
Sure. Of course we can. Culture is changing all the time. And, what I love about this particular collective calling is how beautifully the science mirrors our own growing spiritual intuition: we are all interconnected. I cannot be deeply healthy, truly whole, unless you are too. And, not just the "you" next door or half way around the world, but also the "you" generations from now; our interconnectedness is across time as well as geography.
Is this reality more complicated, messy? Of course. But, it's also more beautiful and filled with meaning. Health and vitality is truly a holistic pursuit. I, for one, as part of the One, am glad.
SPRING ROUND STARTS THIS WEEK!
Our spring round kicks off this week! Dan Buettner's TEDTalk as well as this article on how income inequality affects health will shape our conversation. In addition, we'll reflect personally on how fulfilled we currently are in nine interconnected, good health categories using the "Fulfillment Wheel" pictured. At the round's end, after addressing each category, we'll fill out the wheel again and see what's changed. It's going to be a great round! And, there is always more room at the table! If you are interested in joining the conversation, learn more and sign-up here. You are welcome to simply check a group out the first week or two; if it's not for you, no need to continue.
FINDING PEACE & JOY, SIMPLY
| Anne Williamson |
I am not the poster child for simple living. I don’t live in a tiny house in the woods off the grid. I don’t raise livestock, darn socks or knit. I enjoy eating out, and many nights, thank g/God for TV dinners. We own two cars and more stuff than we need.
This does not mean I don’t strive to live simpler. Over a span of 15 years, I have made significant changes in the way I live and interact with “stuff.” I started off making these changes out of concern for my fellow humans and our planet. I kept making changes because I found peace in doing so.
This peace has come not with any sort of “arrival” but through the journey of gradually eliminating some things so that other things may speak more freely, may take up more space, in my life....
Read MoreTHE RESPONSIBILITY TO BLESS
| Chase Tibbs |
The western hills of Pennsylvania were a wonderful place to grow up. I spent the first eighteen years of my life loved and supported by people who invested deeply in me. Some of you will undoubtedly resonate with my story. Some of you will not. Because, what I did not recognize were the other factors that played into my life. I did not see the privileges that brought my goals into closer reach.
In awakening to my privilege, I can’t say as soon as I realized it I was very comfortable with it. In fact, I’m still not. To be male, to be white, to be heterosexual, to be Protestant Christian, to be born into a middle class family, to be American; to say that these parts of me (and I say parts) are major influences of where I am today would not have made sense to me when I was growing up....
Read MoreRETHINKING RESOLUTIONS
| Amanda Thrasher |
Will 2016 finally be the year we lose weight, get fit, pray or meditate more, spend more time with family, and better manage our finances?
Skeptics answer with a resounding "no," many choosing to forego making any New Year's resolutions altogether. The more years we have not lived up to our high expectations for ourselves, the more sure we are the entire idea of New Year's resolution-making is a hoax.
For those of us who harshly critique ourselves when we "fail" and expect nothing less than an externally imposed measure of "success," resolutions at the New Year can do more damage to our sense of self than good. They often encourage us to strive for an unhealthy perfectionism instead of a healthy self-acceptance. As we inevitably fail to reach such perfection, we may begin to harden our hearts to the hope of any lasting personal growth and change.
Despite such negative realities, I am not convinced we should relinquish the idea of the New Year's resolution altogether....
Read MoreONCE AGAIN, GRATEFULNESS
| Anne Williamson |
Life has been a little nutty for me lately. Between the pregnancy nausea and fatigue, busy work schedule, house to-dos, and I-must-try-out-every-emotion-available-in-the-next-30-seconds threenager living with us, I collapse into bed most nights. Perhaps you do too. It seems to be the way of things for all of us some of the time.
This is okay. Busy seasons of life are to be expected. What I don't like, what doesn't feel okay, is the stress. This daily anxiety of things left undone, opportunities missed - whether in work or with my child, husband, friends. Some of this stress feels unavoidable right now; but some, I must admit, is beginning to feel like a choice: a choice to wallow in it, a choice to not remind myself all is well. Choices that feel particularly misguided amid all the suffering I see. Choices the holiday season will prey on with its "never enough" drum beat.
This is why, when discerning a blog post for this Thanksgiving, I felt the message I most need to hear, to speak once again, is the same as last year: gratefulness. Once again, and over and over, gratefulness. Perhaps you do too...
Read MoreTHE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR?
| Anne Williamson |
It's November 1. You're still tearing open Halloween candy and storing away spiders, skulls and pumpkins. Perhaps Thanksgiving plans have been set, but the day itself is a surprising three and a half weeks away. And, if you purchase a tree at all, most likely you won't consider doing so until after the turkey - or tofurky - has been cut. All this may be true, but so is this... the Christmas season is here.
Turn on a TV tonight, walk in a store tomorrow, and you're almost certain to see it: red and green ornaments; white lights; a jolly old man and his elves; ads trying to convince you the product they're selling is exactly what you, or mom or dad, or partner Tom, or little Johnny needs. Even if you don't celebrate Christmas, it assaults you. It cannot be ignored completely.
This isn't necessarily bad. Many of us enjoy Christmas; I know I do. But, even if you don't or it's not your tradition's holiday, it's still worth asking, "Is this season as joyful as it can be for me? My family? Community? Is it really the most wonderful time of the year?" ...
Read MoreA POSTURE OF REVERENCE
| Chase Tibbs |
When I was 16 years old, my family and I embarked on a journey to the West for one final trip together. My older brother had just graduated from high school and was moving 500 miles away to start his undergraduate education. My parents saw it to be the perfect time to seize what could be the last chance for the five of us to spend two weeks together, packed tight in a Honda Odyssey, chasing the miraculous beauty of western America.
Existence itself is something we take for granted. The truth that what is is, rather than is not, is awe-inspiring. Think about it for a moment. Existence is beautiful. It may even be beauty itself. There are no words that could ever describe the intricate complexity that forms our very being, that holds the earth together, that makes up what we call the Milky Way Galaxy, that is within the dynamic relationship of electrons, neutrons, and protons. The fact that you are simultaneously many as you are also one, deserves a lifetime of humble reverence (or at least two weeks of family vacation).
It was on this Tibbs’ Summer Vacation that I began my journey of intentionally practicing reverence....
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