PRAY WITHOUT CEASING. REALLY?

| Anne C. Williamson | Originally posted January 27, 2015. Edited 2019.

Pray without ceasing. That's what the Bible says. I used to interpret this as some sort of pious challenge reserved for monks, nuns and those kids who memorized Bible verses. (Okay, I was one of those kids, but only briefly, and secretly.) It was impractical. How many "now I lay me"s and "dear god"s can one say in a day and get anything else done?

Because, of course, that's what prayer was: talking to God. Talking to God with rules. Do be honest, but not if your issue is with God. It's strange to bow but perfectly normal to close your eyes and clasp your hands. Before making any requests, praise and give thanks. For a long while, despite all these rules, prayer as talking to God worked well for me; I loved sharing my heart.

Eventually, things changed. I got angry, and God was not exempt. I saw hundreds of people bow in unison and found it beautiful. My image of God changed, and with it, I found more peace and movement in silence than praise. I could not pray the way I once did, and honestly, I felt both relief and a deep ache. 

I remember when I read theologian Kent Ira Groff’s definition of prayer: "to practice the presence, to go to God by any means, by any means to let God come to you." I was in seminary and reading this was like a welcomed fissure in a dam. The new waters knocked me down occasionally but before, my spirit was parched. 

Pray without ceasing. I came to realize it wasn't a challenge; it was permission. Permission to practice the presence and by any means; this is the only way we can possibly do it without ceasing.

Of course, it still isn't easy. For me, it's a way of being that feels very far away some days. But, I hope in it, and I practice. I walk and breathe. I meditate. I’m here. I lean into being here a little more. I pay attention. I consider my actions as well as my stories; I consider their many ripples. I forget or willfully ignore. I forgive myself. I listen and try again. And, I talk; sometimes I do still talk to God.

LIFE #NOFILTER

| Anne C. Williamson | Originally posted January 20, 2015

I'm sitting here listening to my husband try to teach our daughter how to calm down through breathing. The source of her exasperation: bread. She loves it and usually has to wait for it to toast and get smeared with peanut butter. This lapse in time often proves too much, and she begins to meltdown. Of course, her response is disproportionate - as her parents, at least one of our jobs is to make sure, as an adult, she doesn't erupt in tears at the bagel shop; but, I do relate to her passion, even admire it a little.   

This struggle echoes in my spiritual journey: I want peace, wholeness, the "undistracted state" as Buddhist teacher Pema Chödrön calls it, but I also fear this state will tamper my passion. I love bread too... er, I mean life and justice. Can we be both passionate about life and "zen"? It's confusing because both eastern and western spiritual philosophies have taught life itself is the distraction. But, isn't life also the joy? Isn't it the people and environments, the food and good fights that offer us meaning, that offer purpose? 

This is where I love when Pema Chödrön, in the below video, talks about being wide-awake. Yes, life can distract; this is undeniable. But, detoxing from these distractions doesn't mean the end of joy, passion, purpose. Instead, the undistracted state means we're wide-awake to experience life more deeply, to taste more acutely, to fight fairer, to love better. It's life #nofilter.

BEGIN (AGAIN)

| Anne C. Williamson | - Originally posted January 11, 2015

Confession: It's been a tough week. Of course, I know full well, relatively speaking, it hasn't really been that tough; my family has the necessities: food, water, heat, Frozen on DVD. But, regardless, I've been stumbling this week, trying and failing to push beyond circumstances and the wonky way my mind sometimes works.

I believe these weeks find me occasionally for a purpose: they bring me to my knees, remind me life is not about control but surrender... in the best possible way. My heart feels small so I must break it open with a prayer of "help." I stop managing it all well enough, long enough to see grace again... to really need grace again.  

Beginnings can look like this. They often do. And, not just in late January. All year long we find ourselves slid back into old patterns, thoughts, distractions that then propel us to choose, once again, to begin again.

For me, this is one of the main reasons I crave deep, thoughtful, spiritual community. It often gives me more grace than I give myself, while at the same time, holds me accountable to the kind of life I want to lead. It is kind faces with whom I share my story, and wise perspectives I never would have heard on my own. It's the space to practice, to begin something new or for the umpteenth time. It's time set apart to c/Connect. 

This is what WAYfinding is for me and for many of you. I am so glad, and I look forward to kicking off another round of groups - of blessed discussions, experiences, sharing - this week!

There is always room for more voices at the table. If you're curious, consider checking-out a group this week - or in the weeks to come. Simply fill out this form. Groups this round meet:

Mondays, 7:30 – 9:00p – Mom’s Group (Meridian-Kessler) (Org. Facilitator: Lindsay)
Wednesdays, 11:30a - 1:00p (Meridian-Kessler) (Org. Facilitator: Rick)
Wednesdays, 7:00 – 9:00p (Downtown) (Org. Facilitator: Stew)
Thursdays, 7:00 - 9:00p (Meridian Hills) (Org. Facilitator: Jess)

Author’s 2019 Note: It’s interesting that much of the above blog applies to my experience this past week too - except Frozen has been replaced with Moana… Disney, you’re just too good! And yet, and this is gratifying to notice, this week was also not as hard as that week years ago, and I don’t think it has much to do with circumstances. I see the ways in which I am approaching life and my own “wonky mind” differently now. For example, I am teaching myself to not try and “push beyond” circumstances and the way my mind works sometimes but rather relax into them, allow them to be what they are, and notice, release, move from there. It’s subtle, and it’s helping. I share this because, first, and this is important: yea! And, second, the journey to one’s own spirit, to our True Self, does help. Who knows if we ever “arrive.” Lately, I’m thinking that’s not the point anyway. But, it seems to me, that when I follow my curiosity and creativity, my capacity for love and empathy - toward self and others and the Earth - and thus my capacity for joy does grow. It is not a straight line up in one direction but it is a moving toward, maybe a moving in that mysteriously also brings me more out than ever before. How nice to get this reminder. So, I thought I’d share it with you too. May it be so.

AND WITH A TINY FLAME...

We'll be back January 6th with information about our upcoming WAYkids' program and winter adult WAYfinding round. If you'd like to save-the-dates, our WAYkids' program will begin Sunday, January 13th and meet every 2nd and 4th Sunday afternoon (4:00 - 5:30p) of the month (January - June). Our WAYfinding winter round will begin the week of January 21st.

| Anne C. Williamson |

A couple weeks ago, good friends invited us over to celebrate Hanukkah. After listening to the story behind this Jewish ritual and tradition, the candles were lite, prayers recited and songs sung. Then, as the menorah was carried to the window and placed there, we learned this piece of the tradition is about being open, publicly sharing one's beliefs, as well as bringing a little more light to the world.

I loved the whole thing. I think my girls did too; but, of course, there was the typical young children drama around who got to light which candles as well as ecstatic focus on the chocolate gelt soon to come. So, I didn't know how much had been understood and appreciated.

The next day, at our own home, as the light outside had nearly gone, I heard my 5 year old suddenly exclaim, "The Christmas tree! We need to light it so we can bring light to the world." My eyes still tear up. Something about that moment encompasses so much of what I hope for my children.... That when the darkness surrounds them, they would hold on to the magic, mystery and beauty ever present in this world too. That they would find joy and meaning in their own tradition while understanding, deeply, that all traditions share a loving s/Source and thus can reflect and enrich one another. That they would believe they are part of bringing light to the world, that their daily actions and loving being matter.

Depending on the stage of life and context in which we find ourselves, the holidays can look so different from year-to-year and person-to-person. I don't know the sadness you may be carrying now, or the joy. But, in my own Christian Advent tradition, each Sunday I light a candle for you. I hold the light in my heart, give it physical form with a match, wick and wax, and pray for my own, for my girls' and husband's, for our community's and for the whole world's well-being. I pray for peace on earth, and with a tiny flame, that it would begin (again and again) with me.

TRUE BELONGING

| Anne Williamson |

We gather because it helps.

Life is hard and hard to figure out. It helps to give voice to this, to collectively belong to the questions and vulnerability, and to encourage one another in them. It helps – or more likely is absolutely necessary – to hear new narratives and perspectives in this questioning, “figuring out,” and living well.

This possible, "macro" reason for gathering is all about the benefits of community. And, clearly, not just any community; a community that truly helps holds certain values, engages in certain practices. Many of these are research-based, and we'll be discussing them in the coming weeks. But, this week, as we begin diving deeper into the topic of "Why Gather?," we're going to discuss Brene Brown's assertion that the kinds of communities for which we long are not possible without first belonging to one's self. She calls this "true belonging" - defined above - and this week we explore this idea for our own sake as well as the communities we long to create and sustain.

SIGN-UPS ARE OPEN FOR THE FALL 2018 ROUND!

SCHEDULE & DESCRIPTION

The fall round begins the week of September 10th and ends the week of November 5th. It's 8 weeks with a one-week break at the halfway point (groups will not meet the week of October 8th). This round will include a community week in late October.

SIGN-UP

Why gather in spiritual groups like these? Why gather for spiritual or religious reasons on Sundays or Fridays or whenever? What is the point? Does it do anything for us? For the world? What do we, as humans, need now, at this specific time in history, from these spaces? Can they deliver?

Join WAYfinding this fall as we explore these questions. Each week will begin with a possible answer, falling under one of three “macro” reasons for gathering: We gather because it helps. We gather to h/Hear s/Something deep and true. We gather to b/Be s/Something deep and true. Authors (and, for many, spiritual guides) Sue Monk Kidd, Parker Palmer, Brene Brown and Shawn Achor, among others, will be our teachers.

As always with WAYfinding, you will be encouraged and led to question, challenge, wonder, discuss and dive deep into your own experience. If you’ve ever been simultaneously drawn to and resistant to spiritual or religious gatherings, this will be a great round for you, helping you discover what is true for you and resting easier in it.

Hope to have your voice in the conversation this fall!

GROUPS

Mondays, 7:30 – 9:00p – Mom’s Group (Meridian-Kessler) (Facilitator & Host: Anne)
Tuesdays, 12:00 - 1:45p (Meridian-Kessler) (Facilitators & Hosts: Rotating**)
Wednesdays, 10:30a - 12:00p (Meridian-Kessler) (Facilitators: Carolyn & Rick; Host: Anne) (Childcare available; cost split between parents.)
Wednesdays, 7:00 – 9:00p (Irvington) (Facilitators & Hosts: Rotating**)
Wednesdays, 7:00 - 9:00p (Downtown) (Facilitator: Julie; Host: Stew)
Thursdays, 7:00 - 9:00p (Meridian Hills) (Facilitator & Host: Bob)

** Newcomers are not asked to facilitate or host. Of course, you’re welcome to, if you’d like. 

SIGN UP

COST

For those who can afford it, there is a cost with the WAYfinding experience. Each round we ask you make an investment in yourself of $50 - $150. It's a sliding scale; you pay what you can. And, if you can't pay, simply select our Scholarship Fund when signing up - that's all there is to it. Invest online here.

Or, you may become a sustaining member of WAYfinding by making a recurring donation of at least $30 per month. This option is not just an investment in yourself - all rounds are included - but in others. Your recurring donation (or quarterly/yearly, if you prefer) helps us sponsor new and existing participants, "get the word out," invest in public speakers and new programs, etc. You can learn more about our different investment levels here.

INCH BY INCH

Note from Anne: Hello WAYfinding community! I am back to work and looking forward to all that is in store for WAYfinding this fall. Stay tuned for some exciting announcements in the coming weeks, including details about our Fall 2018 Round - which will begin in mid-September.

Many of you have jumped back into "fall" routines or are easing your way into such space. I am too. One truth I became acutely aware of over the past month is life does not stop so I can make new (healthier) habits. While each seasonal beginning brings an opportunity to reflect, edit and add, new ways of being necessarily take shape in the midst of the mess of it all. So, as I encourage myself in this truth, I encourage you too.

What edit, add, shift would help you to live more fully and compassionately this fall? And, how can you help yourself accept that its implementation will be irregular, imperfect because, well, you're a human living a human life?

"Inch by inch... and do it again... one day you'll see... you set yourself free." - India Arie

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

| Ashley Parsons |

Up until 15 years ago, my food choices were haphazard at best. If I wanted McDs, I would stop at a drive through, order a “Number 2” and get blue Powerade as the healthier option. What I ate very much depended on what I was craving at the time. I trusted that the food on the grocery store shelves was nourishing or they wouldn’t put it there, right?

It wasn’t until about 8 years ago that I had to seriously examine my food choices and relationship with food. Looking back, I actually started feeling ill about 12-13 years ago. It started with a weird skin thing that was supposedly harmless. Then I started feeling tired and moody a lot; I figured this was normal for a working mom with a toddler. As the years passed, my fatigue got worse. I developed anxiety, insomnia, and battled a myriad of infections and illnesses. I remember one night, waking up, thinking I cannot survive like this. Doctors ran tests and said I was a little inflamed but other than that, nothing seemed wrong with me. After scouring the internet and self diagnosing, I realized I needed to seriously reconsider and shift how I was eating...

Just as with loved ones, our relationship with food can be complex. Sometimes we experience love, joy, and comfort at mealtime. Other times, we experience anxiety, guilt, and shame. Most of us experience a range of these emotions at one time or another. If our relationship with a loved one ever becomes unhealthy or destructive, we have the choice to end the relationship or try to heal it. Because we depend on food for survival, we are not afforded the option to “break up” with it. Therefore, when the relationship becomes unhealthy or toxic we have two choices: continue on as usual or we can work to heal it.

My journey with food and health led me to become a health coach. I could not believe the impact my food choices had on my health, and I wanted to share this knowledge with others. As I started looking into ways to heal our relationship with food, two terms kept popping up: mindful eating and intuitive eating. At first, I thought they were the same; but, after digging deeper, I came to understand they compliment each other but have some important differences. Both are great ways to become more in tune with your body’s nutritional needs, aware of the influencing factors around your food choices and your emotional connection to food.

The practice of mindful eating is about being fully present at mealtime. In today’s society, we pride ourselves on multitasking. If we can accomplish 2-3 things at one time, why wouldn’t we? This can have a major impact on our digestion. Our body functions in two opposing states: “rest and digest” or “fight or flight”. Back in the day, if a saber tooth tiger was chasing us, it would stimulate our fight-or-flight mode and certain mechanisms in the body would either speed up or slow down. During this process, digestion was turned off so we could use that energy to fight or flee. Now, instead of the saber tooth tiger chasing us, we have a full inbox, a project deadline or we might be juggling multiple carpool destinations. When we try to eat amidst these stressful experiences, our body is unable to break down food to absorb the nutrients.

Mindful eating teaches us to slow down and become more aware of our external and internal environments, without judgement, at mealtime. It is about turning off technology and using all five senses to experience food. We may reflect on the origin of the food and feel gratitude for the people, plants and animals involved in the process to get the food on our plate. If you were involved in WAYfinding a few years ago, you may remember doing a mindful eating exercise with an orange. We observed the orange, we enjoyed the fragrance as we peeled it, we ate it one segment at a time and chewed thoroughly, savoring the experience. When we slow down the process of eating, our bodies are able to secrete more enzymes to more readily digest whatever we are eating. Simply slowing down and intentionally chewing can be so beneficial.

Intuitive eating has a slightly different goal. With intuitive eating we are recognizing and honoring our body’s cues. It is abandoning the diet mentality. Intuitive eating is about exploration with food versus following a set of rules. When I think about intuitive eating, I think about my dog. I notice she is adamant about having food in her bowl by 8:30 am but once its there, she nibbles on it throughout the day. In the summer she eats less, in the winter she eats more. If she is sick she doesn’t eat very much. We were born intuitive eaters but then, very quickly, we are taught to eat on a schedule and eat a certain amount (2oz bottles every 4 hours). Now that we are older, we are bombarded with fad diets and foods created by scientists in a lab. Depending on the decade, certain foods were demonized - fats, carbs, etc. Can you think of some ways your approach to eating may have been shaped by these trends?

Take a moment to reflect on your relationship with food. Is your approach to eating working for you? Could practicing mindful eating or intuitive eating help you bring more joy to your dining experience? Every person’s journey with food is completely unique. Healing our relationship with food requires an abundance of patience, grace and forgiveness. Start slow and take it meal by meal.

After traversing the country from west coast to east, Ashley met her husband in Chicago and settled in Indianapolis in 2008 to raise their two children. Ashley grew up in a household where only the occasional Sunday was spent at the nondenominational church nearby. It was after taking a world religions course at UC Santa Cruz that a new curiosity for spirituality and faith was sparked. WAYfinding has been a place where Ashley can openly discuss her questions, while learning ways to introduce her children to the fascinating exploration of faith. Ashley is a certified Integrative Nutrition Health Coach through Institute of Integrative Nutrition and co-owner of Stepping Stone Health in Indianapolis. In her free time, Ashley enjoys practicing yoga and spending time outdoors with her family.

A WHOLE BIGGER FAMILY

WAYfinder Ashley Parsons says, "We so often ask our kids to do things we ourselves do not do." This is so true. Much more often, we need to "dive in" and do those things we're asking alongside our kids. Or, if we don't have kids, simply be "kid-like" and do them ourselves.

So, this week, I offer you a recent email I sent to our WAYkids' parents. The words and practices offered are not just for the kids among us; they're for all of us.  

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Hello! Summer is (nearly) upon us, and with it, an opportunity to slow down and connect - both lowercase “c” and uppercase “C.” Though WAYkids will largely be on break this summer, I want to take this opportunity to offer you a few ideas for continuing your family’s WAYkids’ journey.

Many of you participated in Sunday’s White Pines Wilderness Academy event. What a cool place! So much of what we heard and experienced had a spiritual component, so simply to add to that…

We began this year reading the book What Is God? by Etan Boritzer. The book begins, "What is God? You are asking a very, very big question!” So true. When I talk to kids about God, I like to acknowledge this fact: “What is God is such a big question that all people - both living today and those who lived long ago - have tried to answer this question and come up with lots of different answers.” I continue by explaining, “I too am trying to answer this question for myself. And, you can answer this question for yourself too. But, you’ll have to be very curious and open, explore, investigate and ask loads of questions. You’ll need to ask ‘What is God?’ in big spaces, like crowds and the whole forest. And, you’ll need to get very small and ask “What is God?” between just two people in the crowd - like you and your mom/dad - and the tiny ant marching along the forest floor. Because God is in all of it."     

Because of this, I think nature is a natural and beautiful space for kids to experience and wonder about God. Many of us probably feel this way as adults too. I know I do. So, I want to offer a nature practice and meditation for your summer wanderings…

1. Sensory Nature Walk: Dr. Mark Germine said, "Our ability to cognitively abstract our contact with the world constantly takes our sensory experience and hides it under a veil of thought. The resulting loss of connection is, I think, the greatest ill that plagues humankind. It is the cause of many problems in the individual and in society.” The kind of slow and intentional presence a sensory nature walk requires of us helps us get out of our heads so we can experience and c/Connect directly. Our kids are usually naturally better at this than we are, but we still need to nurture this c/Connection. Use the attached Sensory Nature Scavenger Hunt with your kids to c/Connect this summer.

2. First and foremost, it’s important to just Be in the above experience with yourself and your kids. That is enough. But, if it intuitively feels right, you may want to ask your child(ren) at various points in your walk, “If this moment right now is God or tells us about God, what is God do you think? What does God feel like to you?”

3. Adapted from What Is God? by Etan Boritzer

"What Is g/God?" Meditation
 
If you want feel g/God, close your eyes, and listen to your breath go slowly in and out. Think how you are connected to everything, even if you are not touching everything.
 
Try to feel how you are connected to your Mom or Dad. Try to feel how you are part of your whole family, like your brother or sister, your grandparents, your aunts and uncles, cousins, even your friends.                       

And try to feel how all of those people are part of a whole bigger family. And how all the families of the world (even those we can't see or touch) are really a part of you and your family.

Now try and feel how all the families of the world include more than just human families: there are animal families and plant families, this forest is a family. We call this kind of family an ecosystem. Try and feel how these families are really a part of you and your family too.
 
If you can start to feel g/God like that, then maybe you will soon feel the whole answer to that very, very big question that everyone asks, "What is God?"
 
Take a deep breath in and out and slowly open your eyes.

I hope these practices prove to be c/Connective for you and your child(ren) this summer! Stay tuned for a service opportunity at some point as well. And, thank you for participating in another year of WAYkids!

Thank you!,
Anne