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| Anne C. Williamson | - Originally posted January 11, 2015

Confession: It's been a tough week. Of course, I know full well, relatively speaking, it hasn't really been that tough; my family has the necessities: food, water, heat, Frozen on DVD. But, regardless, I've been stumbling this week, trying and failing to push beyond circumstances and the wonky way my mind sometimes works.

I believe these weeks find me occasionally for a purpose: they bring me to my knees, remind me life is not about control but surrender... in the best possible way. My heart feels small so I must break it open with a prayer of "help." I stop managing it all well enough, long enough to see grace again... to really need grace again.  

Beginnings can look like this. They often do. And, not just in late January. All year long we find ourselves slid back into old patterns, thoughts, distractions that then propel us to choose, once again, to begin again.

For me, this is one of the main reasons I crave deep, thoughtful, spiritual community. It often gives me more grace than I give myself, while at the same time, holds me accountable to the kind of life I want to lead. It is kind faces with whom I share my story, and wise perspectives I never would have heard on my own. It's the space to practice, to begin something new or for the umpteenth time. It's time set apart to c/Connect. 

This is what WAYfinding is for me and for many of you. I am so glad, and I look forward to kicking off another round of groups - of blessed discussions, experiences, sharing - this week!

There is always room for more voices at the table. If you're curious, consider checking-out a group this week - or in the weeks to come. Simply fill out this form. Groups this round meet:

Mondays, 7:30 – 9:00p – Mom’s Group (Meridian-Kessler) (Org. Facilitator: Lindsay)
Wednesdays, 11:30a - 1:00p (Meridian-Kessler) (Org. Facilitator: Rick)
Wednesdays, 7:00 – 9:00p (Downtown) (Org. Facilitator: Stew)
Thursdays, 7:00 - 9:00p (Meridian Hills) (Org. Facilitator: Jess)

Author’s 2019 Note: It’s interesting that much of the above blog applies to my experience this past week too - except Frozen has been replaced with Moana… Disney, you’re just too good! And yet, and this is gratifying to notice, this week was also not as hard as that week years ago, and I don’t think it has much to do with circumstances. I see the ways in which I am approaching life and my own “wonky mind” differently now. For example, I am teaching myself to not try and “push beyond” circumstances and the way my mind works sometimes but rather relax into them, allow them to be what they are, and notice, release, move from there. It’s subtle, and it’s helping. I share this because, first, and this is important: yea! And, second, the journey to one’s own spirit, to our True Self, does help. Who knows if we ever “arrive.” Lately, I’m thinking that’s not the point anyway. But, it seems to me, that when I follow my curiosity and creativity, my capacity for love and empathy - toward self and others and the Earth - and thus my capacity for joy does grow. It is not a straight line up in one direction but it is a moving toward, maybe a moving in that mysteriously also brings me more out than ever before. How nice to get this reminder. So, I thought I’d share it with you too. May it be so.

WHAT KIND OF COMMUNITY IS NEEDED NOW?

We're spending the next two weeks in groups talking about community. Specifically, what kind of community is needed now in our society and how do we create it? We're going to be discussing "fitting in," common enemy intimacy, loneliness, social media and the trickiness of in-person community too, vulnerability and boundaries, empathy, forgiveness, and our inextricable human connection.

The below video, though focused on addiction, speaks so beautifully to our need for connection that I wanted to share it with you here. My favorite excerpt:

“Human beings have an innate need to bond and connect. When we are happy and healthy we will bond with the people around us. But when we can’t because we’re traumatized, isolated or beaten down by life, we will bond with something that gives us some sense of relief. It might be checking our smartphones constantly. It might be pornography. It might be gambling, etc. but we will bond with something because that is our human nature. The path out of unhealthy bonding is to form healthy bonds – to be connected to people who you want to be present with. Addiction is just one symptom of the crisis of disconnection that’s happening all around us. We all feel it....

For too long, we’ve talked only about individual recovery from addiction, but we need now to talk about social recovery. Because something has gone wrong with us as a group.... We are going to have to change the unnatural way we live and rediscover each other. The opposite of addiction is not sobriety; the opposite of addiction is connection.”

I hope you'll watch the whole video. It's worth it!

- Anne

INCH BY INCH

Note from Anne: Hello WAYfinding community! I am back to work and looking forward to all that is in store for WAYfinding this fall. Stay tuned for some exciting announcements in the coming weeks, including details about our Fall 2018 Round - which will begin in mid-September.

Many of you have jumped back into "fall" routines or are easing your way into such space. I am too. One truth I became acutely aware of over the past month is life does not stop so I can make new (healthier) habits. While each seasonal beginning brings an opportunity to reflect, edit and add, new ways of being necessarily take shape in the midst of the mess of it all. So, as I encourage myself in this truth, I encourage you too.

What edit, add, shift would help you to live more fully and compassionately this fall? And, how can you help yourself accept that its implementation will be irregular, imperfect because, well, you're a human living a human life?

"Inch by inch... and do it again... one day you'll see... you set yourself free." - India Arie

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

| Ashley Parsons |

Up until 15 years ago, my food choices were haphazard at best. If I wanted McDs, I would stop at a drive through, order a “Number 2” and get blue Powerade as the healthier option. What I ate very much depended on what I was craving at the time. I trusted that the food on the grocery store shelves was nourishing or they wouldn’t put it there, right?

It wasn’t until about 8 years ago that I had to seriously examine my food choices and relationship with food. Looking back, I actually started feeling ill about 12-13 years ago. It started with a weird skin thing that was supposedly harmless. Then I started feeling tired and moody a lot; I figured this was normal for a working mom with a toddler. As the years passed, my fatigue got worse. I developed anxiety, insomnia, and battled a myriad of infections and illnesses. I remember one night, waking up, thinking I cannot survive like this. Doctors ran tests and said I was a little inflamed but other than that, nothing seemed wrong with me. After scouring the internet and self diagnosing, I realized I needed to seriously reconsider and shift how I was eating...

Just as with loved ones, our relationship with food can be complex. Sometimes we experience love, joy, and comfort at mealtime. Other times, we experience anxiety, guilt, and shame. Most of us experience a range of these emotions at one time or another. If our relationship with a loved one ever becomes unhealthy or destructive, we have the choice to end the relationship or try to heal it. Because we depend on food for survival, we are not afforded the option to “break up” with it. Therefore, when the relationship becomes unhealthy or toxic we have two choices: continue on as usual or we can work to heal it.

My journey with food and health led me to become a health coach. I could not believe the impact my food choices had on my health, and I wanted to share this knowledge with others. As I started looking into ways to heal our relationship with food, two terms kept popping up: mindful eating and intuitive eating. At first, I thought they were the same; but, after digging deeper, I came to understand they compliment each other but have some important differences. Both are great ways to become more in tune with your body’s nutritional needs, aware of the influencing factors around your food choices and your emotional connection to food.

The practice of mindful eating is about being fully present at mealtime. In today’s society, we pride ourselves on multitasking. If we can accomplish 2-3 things at one time, why wouldn’t we? This can have a major impact on our digestion. Our body functions in two opposing states: “rest and digest” or “fight or flight”. Back in the day, if a saber tooth tiger was chasing us, it would stimulate our fight-or-flight mode and certain mechanisms in the body would either speed up or slow down. During this process, digestion was turned off so we could use that energy to fight or flee. Now, instead of the saber tooth tiger chasing us, we have a full inbox, a project deadline or we might be juggling multiple carpool destinations. When we try to eat amidst these stressful experiences, our body is unable to break down food to absorb the nutrients.

Mindful eating teaches us to slow down and become more aware of our external and internal environments, without judgement, at mealtime. It is about turning off technology and using all five senses to experience food. We may reflect on the origin of the food and feel gratitude for the people, plants and animals involved in the process to get the food on our plate. If you were involved in WAYfinding a few years ago, you may remember doing a mindful eating exercise with an orange. We observed the orange, we enjoyed the fragrance as we peeled it, we ate it one segment at a time and chewed thoroughly, savoring the experience. When we slow down the process of eating, our bodies are able to secrete more enzymes to more readily digest whatever we are eating. Simply slowing down and intentionally chewing can be so beneficial.

Intuitive eating has a slightly different goal. With intuitive eating we are recognizing and honoring our body’s cues. It is abandoning the diet mentality. Intuitive eating is about exploration with food versus following a set of rules. When I think about intuitive eating, I think about my dog. I notice she is adamant about having food in her bowl by 8:30 am but once its there, she nibbles on it throughout the day. In the summer she eats less, in the winter she eats more. If she is sick she doesn’t eat very much. We were born intuitive eaters but then, very quickly, we are taught to eat on a schedule and eat a certain amount (2oz bottles every 4 hours). Now that we are older, we are bombarded with fad diets and foods created by scientists in a lab. Depending on the decade, certain foods were demonized - fats, carbs, etc. Can you think of some ways your approach to eating may have been shaped by these trends?

Take a moment to reflect on your relationship with food. Is your approach to eating working for you? Could practicing mindful eating or intuitive eating help you bring more joy to your dining experience? Every person’s journey with food is completely unique. Healing our relationship with food requires an abundance of patience, grace and forgiveness. Start slow and take it meal by meal.

After traversing the country from west coast to east, Ashley met her husband in Chicago and settled in Indianapolis in 2008 to raise their two children. Ashley grew up in a household where only the occasional Sunday was spent at the nondenominational church nearby. It was after taking a world religions course at UC Santa Cruz that a new curiosity for spirituality and faith was sparked. WAYfinding has been a place where Ashley can openly discuss her questions, while learning ways to introduce her children to the fascinating exploration of faith. Ashley is a certified Integrative Nutrition Health Coach through Institute of Integrative Nutrition and co-owner of Stepping Stone Health in Indianapolis. In her free time, Ashley enjoys practicing yoga and spending time outdoors with her family.

MAY WE ALL CONTINUE TO FIND OUR WAY

| Anne Williamson |

For at least 6 months now, maybe longer, I have received this message every time I open my computer: “Your startup disk is full. You need to make more space available on your startup disk by deleting files.” So naturally, I simply moved a few things around, deleted just enough files, to keep working.
 
I didn’t get it.
 
Even after sensing I needed and taking a “break” in January, I kept pushing. I used that time to get caught up on administrative “to-do’s”. Physically, I continued plowing through cold after cold, knowing my body was trying to tell me something but ultimately ignoring it.
 
Then, about two months ago, I opened my computer and got this message: “Your hard drive is full.”
 
It hit me like a ton of bricks. I had a good cry. I could feel it deep in my bones. I am creatively, spiritually, even emotionally, spent.
 
So, I am taking some time. July 2nd – August 6th to be exact.

The black feminist activist Audre Lorde famously said, “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.”

I plan to learn from Ms. Lorde over the coming weeks. I am not a person of color, so I will never have that significant daily “battle” with which to contend. But, I am a woman, a wife and a mother… and in our culture, these roles are expected to, I was socialized to, give and give (for no pay, of course). Add onto this identity, minister, and I have felt myself, I have let myself, be slowly washed away.

So, I am leaning into holding these roles in new ways in my life… using my privilege to shine light on the truth and carve new ways forward for myself and others. I am doing this for me… because I love myself… and for my girls, my husband, my family and friends, WAYfinding, and all those who could use another sustained voice for justice, mental health, boundaries, joy and equality.

Here’s to the next leg of the journey. May we all continue to find our way.

SOME DAYS

In this Sunday's blog, an original song by WAYfinder Leslie Dyar. Leslie has been involved in WAYfinding since 2012. After 17 years as Director of an early childhood program in Indianapolis, her spiritual journey led her to the healing arts. She now practices reflexology, among other healing modalities. Leslie enjoys spending time with her family (especially her grandchildren), songwriting, hiking and living the simple life in a cabin in the woods of Brown County. She believes faith is a living, changing entity that should be continuously examined and questioned. WAYfinding helps her do this!

The song she shares with us here was inspired by the winter and spring rounds.

A WHOLE BIGGER FAMILY

WAYfinder Ashley Parsons says, "We so often ask our kids to do things we ourselves do not do." This is so true. Much more often, we need to "dive in" and do those things we're asking alongside our kids. Or, if we don't have kids, simply be "kid-like" and do them ourselves.

So, this week, I offer you a recent email I sent to our WAYkids' parents. The words and practices offered are not just for the kids among us; they're for all of us.  

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Hello! Summer is (nearly) upon us, and with it, an opportunity to slow down and connect - both lowercase “c” and uppercase “C.” Though WAYkids will largely be on break this summer, I want to take this opportunity to offer you a few ideas for continuing your family’s WAYkids’ journey.

Many of you participated in Sunday’s White Pines Wilderness Academy event. What a cool place! So much of what we heard and experienced had a spiritual component, so simply to add to that…

We began this year reading the book What Is God? by Etan Boritzer. The book begins, "What is God? You are asking a very, very big question!” So true. When I talk to kids about God, I like to acknowledge this fact: “What is God is such a big question that all people - both living today and those who lived long ago - have tried to answer this question and come up with lots of different answers.” I continue by explaining, “I too am trying to answer this question for myself. And, you can answer this question for yourself too. But, you’ll have to be very curious and open, explore, investigate and ask loads of questions. You’ll need to ask ‘What is God?’ in big spaces, like crowds and the whole forest. And, you’ll need to get very small and ask “What is God?” between just two people in the crowd - like you and your mom/dad - and the tiny ant marching along the forest floor. Because God is in all of it."     

Because of this, I think nature is a natural and beautiful space for kids to experience and wonder about God. Many of us probably feel this way as adults too. I know I do. So, I want to offer a nature practice and meditation for your summer wanderings…

1. Sensory Nature Walk: Dr. Mark Germine said, "Our ability to cognitively abstract our contact with the world constantly takes our sensory experience and hides it under a veil of thought. The resulting loss of connection is, I think, the greatest ill that plagues humankind. It is the cause of many problems in the individual and in society.” The kind of slow and intentional presence a sensory nature walk requires of us helps us get out of our heads so we can experience and c/Connect directly. Our kids are usually naturally better at this than we are, but we still need to nurture this c/Connection. Use the attached Sensory Nature Scavenger Hunt with your kids to c/Connect this summer.

2. First and foremost, it’s important to just Be in the above experience with yourself and your kids. That is enough. But, if it intuitively feels right, you may want to ask your child(ren) at various points in your walk, “If this moment right now is God or tells us about God, what is God do you think? What does God feel like to you?”

3. Adapted from What Is God? by Etan Boritzer

"What Is g/God?" Meditation
 
If you want feel g/God, close your eyes, and listen to your breath go slowly in and out. Think how you are connected to everything, even if you are not touching everything.
 
Try to feel how you are connected to your Mom or Dad. Try to feel how you are part of your whole family, like your brother or sister, your grandparents, your aunts and uncles, cousins, even your friends.                       

And try to feel how all of those people are part of a whole bigger family. And how all the families of the world (even those we can't see or touch) are really a part of you and your family.

Now try and feel how all the families of the world include more than just human families: there are animal families and plant families, this forest is a family. We call this kind of family an ecosystem. Try and feel how these families are really a part of you and your family too.
 
If you can start to feel g/God like that, then maybe you will soon feel the whole answer to that very, very big question that everyone asks, "What is God?"
 
Take a deep breath in and out and slowly open your eyes.

I hope these practices prove to be c/Connective for you and your child(ren) this summer! Stay tuned for a service opportunity at some point as well. And, thank you for participating in another year of WAYkids!

Thank you!,
Anne

IN MARRIAGE AND DEMOCRACY WE MUST STOP DEMONIZING THE "OTHER"

| Anne Williamson |

Synchronicity. It’s a great word – to say, but even more so, to experience. As I was imagining and researching the topics for this round, I came across two seemingly unrelated articles: one, on why some marriages last and others fail, and the other, a conversation between former President Obama and author Marilynne Robinson on, among other things, the state of America’s democracy. Surprisingly, the two articles discussed similar ideas.

As I continued researching Robinson’s perspective on democracy, the growing similarities between it and creating lasting relationships turned my initial calm curiosity into outright geeky giddiness. Don’t worry; I’ll spare you the graduate paper I wish I had been assigned. I simply want to use this week’s blog post to encourage you to read and discuss. WAYfinding participants this round get the benefit of me having culled the most relevant segments from four unique Robinson conversations and articles, but for others reading this, start here. Then, also read the marriage article, which is not just for the coupled among us. In particular, pay attention to what both articles say about how to stop demonizing the o/Other in your life so there's space for a new story to emerge.  

Many of you are already taking part in a WAYfinding group this week, giving space and new perspectives to your reflections. This, among other things, is the gift of what we do in WAYfinding. But, if you’re not in a group, first, you're welcome anytime. We're at the halfway point, and you'd be welcome to jump in (at half the cost) for the last 4 weeks to see what you think. Sign-up for the group of your choice here. Or, if participating isn’t possible, set an intention to read and share these articles and your thoughts with others. Loving better than we did yesterday – like relationships, like democracy – is not a given, it’s (to borrow Robinson’s words) “a made thing that we make continuously.” May it be so for you this week.