PRAY WITHOUT CEASING. REALLY?

| Anne C. Williamson | Originally posted January 27, 2015. Edited 2019.

Pray without ceasing. That's what the Bible says. I used to interpret this as some sort of pious challenge reserved for monks, nuns and those kids who memorized Bible verses. (Okay, I was one of those kids, but only briefly, and secretly.) It was impractical. How many "now I lay me"s and "dear god"s can one say in a day and get anything else done?

Because, of course, that's what prayer was: talking to God. Talking to God with rules. Do be honest, but not if your issue is with God. It's strange to bow but perfectly normal to close your eyes and clasp your hands. Before making any requests, praise and give thanks. For a long while, despite all these rules, prayer as talking to God worked well for me; I loved sharing my heart.

Eventually, things changed. I got angry, and God was not exempt. I saw hundreds of people bow in unison and found it beautiful. My image of God changed, and with it, I found more peace and movement in silence than praise. I could not pray the way I once did, and honestly, I felt both relief and a deep ache. 

I remember when I read theologian Kent Ira Groff’s definition of prayer: "to practice the presence, to go to God by any means, by any means to let God come to you." I was in seminary and reading this was like a welcomed fissure in a dam. The new waters knocked me down occasionally but before, my spirit was parched. 

Pray without ceasing. I came to realize it wasn't a challenge; it was permission. Permission to practice the presence and by any means; this is the only way we can possibly do it without ceasing.

Of course, it still isn't easy. For me, it's a way of being that feels very far away some days. But, I hope in it, and I practice. I walk and breathe. I meditate. I’m here. I lean into being here a little more. I pay attention. I consider my actions as well as my stories; I consider their many ripples. I forget or willfully ignore. I forgive myself. I listen and try again. And, I talk; sometimes I do still talk to God.

LIFE #NOFILTER

| Anne C. Williamson | Originally posted January 20, 2015

I'm sitting here listening to my husband try to teach our daughter how to calm down through breathing. The source of her exasperation: bread. She loves it and usually has to wait for it to toast and get smeared with peanut butter. This lapse in time often proves too much, and she begins to meltdown. Of course, her response is disproportionate - as her parents, at least one of our jobs is to make sure, as an adult, she doesn't erupt in tears at the bagel shop; but, I do relate to her passion, even admire it a little.   

This struggle echoes in my spiritual journey: I want peace, wholeness, the "undistracted state" as Buddhist teacher Pema Chödrön calls it, but I also fear this state will tamper my passion. I love bread too... er, I mean life and justice. Can we be both passionate about life and "zen"? It's confusing because both eastern and western spiritual philosophies have taught life itself is the distraction. But, isn't life also the joy? Isn't it the people and environments, the food and good fights that offer us meaning, that offer purpose? 

This is where I love when Pema Chödrön, in the below video, talks about being wide-awake. Yes, life can distract; this is undeniable. But, detoxing from these distractions doesn't mean the end of joy, passion, purpose. Instead, the undistracted state means we're wide-awake to experience life more deeply, to taste more acutely, to fight fairer, to love better. It's life #nofilter.

BEGIN (AGAIN)

| Anne C. Williamson | - Originally posted January 11, 2015

Confession: It's been a tough week. Of course, I know full well, relatively speaking, it hasn't really been that tough; my family has the necessities: food, water, heat, Frozen on DVD. But, regardless, I've been stumbling this week, trying and failing to push beyond circumstances and the wonky way my mind sometimes works.

I believe these weeks find me occasionally for a purpose: they bring me to my knees, remind me life is not about control but surrender... in the best possible way. My heart feels small so I must break it open with a prayer of "help." I stop managing it all well enough, long enough to see grace again... to really need grace again.  

Beginnings can look like this. They often do. And, not just in late January. All year long we find ourselves slid back into old patterns, thoughts, distractions that then propel us to choose, once again, to begin again.

For me, this is one of the main reasons I crave deep, thoughtful, spiritual community. It often gives me more grace than I give myself, while at the same time, holds me accountable to the kind of life I want to lead. It is kind faces with whom I share my story, and wise perspectives I never would have heard on my own. It's the space to practice, to begin something new or for the umpteenth time. It's time set apart to c/Connect. 

This is what WAYfinding is for me and for many of you. I am so glad, and I look forward to kicking off another round of groups - of blessed discussions, experiences, sharing - this week!

There is always room for more voices at the table. If you're curious, consider checking-out a group this week - or in the weeks to come. Simply fill out this form. Groups this round meet:

Mondays, 7:30 – 9:00p – Mom’s Group (Meridian-Kessler) (Org. Facilitator: Lindsay)
Wednesdays, 11:30a - 1:00p (Meridian-Kessler) (Org. Facilitator: Rick)
Wednesdays, 7:00 – 9:00p (Downtown) (Org. Facilitator: Stew)
Thursdays, 7:00 - 9:00p (Meridian Hills) (Org. Facilitator: Jess)

Author’s 2019 Note: It’s interesting that much of the above blog applies to my experience this past week too - except Frozen has been replaced with Moana… Disney, you’re just too good! And yet, and this is gratifying to notice, this week was also not as hard as that week years ago, and I don’t think it has much to do with circumstances. I see the ways in which I am approaching life and my own “wonky mind” differently now. For example, I am teaching myself to not try and “push beyond” circumstances and the way my mind works sometimes but rather relax into them, allow them to be what they are, and notice, release, move from there. It’s subtle, and it’s helping. I share this because, first, and this is important: yea! And, second, the journey to one’s own spirit, to our True Self, does help. Who knows if we ever “arrive.” Lately, I’m thinking that’s not the point anyway. But, it seems to me, that when I follow my curiosity and creativity, my capacity for love and empathy - toward self and others and the Earth - and thus my capacity for joy does grow. It is not a straight line up in one direction but it is a moving toward, maybe a moving in that mysteriously also brings me more out than ever before. How nice to get this reminder. So, I thought I’d share it with you too. May it be so.

AND WITH A TINY FLAME...

We'll be back January 6th with information about our upcoming WAYkids' program and winter adult WAYfinding round. If you'd like to save-the-dates, our WAYkids' program will begin Sunday, January 13th and meet every 2nd and 4th Sunday afternoon (4:00 - 5:30p) of the month (January - June). Our WAYfinding winter round will begin the week of January 21st.

| Anne C. Williamson |

A couple weeks ago, good friends invited us over to celebrate Hanukkah. After listening to the story behind this Jewish ritual and tradition, the candles were lite, prayers recited and songs sung. Then, as the menorah was carried to the window and placed there, we learned this piece of the tradition is about being open, publicly sharing one's beliefs, as well as bringing a little more light to the world.

I loved the whole thing. I think my girls did too; but, of course, there was the typical young children drama around who got to light which candles as well as ecstatic focus on the chocolate gelt soon to come. So, I didn't know how much had been understood and appreciated.

The next day, at our own home, as the light outside had nearly gone, I heard my 5 year old suddenly exclaim, "The Christmas tree! We need to light it so we can bring light to the world." My eyes still tear up. Something about that moment encompasses so much of what I hope for my children.... That when the darkness surrounds them, they would hold on to the magic, mystery and beauty ever present in this world too. That they would find joy and meaning in their own tradition while understanding, deeply, that all traditions share a loving s/Source and thus can reflect and enrich one another. That they would believe they are part of bringing light to the world, that their daily actions and loving being matter.

Depending on the stage of life and context in which we find ourselves, the holidays can look so different from year-to-year and person-to-person. I don't know the sadness you may be carrying now, or the joy. But, in my own Christian Advent tradition, each Sunday I light a candle for you. I hold the light in my heart, give it physical form with a match, wick and wax, and pray for my own, for my girls' and husband's, for our community's and for the whole world's well-being. I pray for peace on earth, and with a tiny flame, that it would begin (again and again) with me.

SIGN-UPS ARE OPEN FOR THE FALL 2018 ROUND!

SCHEDULE & DESCRIPTION

The fall round begins the week of September 10th and ends the week of November 5th. It's 8 weeks with a one-week break at the halfway point (groups will not meet the week of October 8th). This round will include a community week in late October.

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Why gather in spiritual groups like these? Why gather for spiritual or religious reasons on Sundays or Fridays or whenever? What is the point? Does it do anything for us? For the world? What do we, as humans, need now, at this specific time in history, from these spaces? Can they deliver?

Join WAYfinding this fall as we explore these questions. Each week will begin with a possible answer, falling under one of three “macro” reasons for gathering: We gather because it helps. We gather to h/Hear s/Something deep and true. We gather to b/Be s/Something deep and true. Authors (and, for many, spiritual guides) Sue Monk Kidd, Parker Palmer, Brene Brown and Shawn Achor, among others, will be our teachers.

As always with WAYfinding, you will be encouraged and led to question, challenge, wonder, discuss and dive deep into your own experience. If you’ve ever been simultaneously drawn to and resistant to spiritual or religious gatherings, this will be a great round for you, helping you discover what is true for you and resting easier in it.

Hope to have your voice in the conversation this fall!

GROUPS

Mondays, 7:30 – 9:00p – Mom’s Group (Meridian-Kessler) (Facilitator & Host: Anne)
Tuesdays, 12:00 - 1:45p (Meridian-Kessler) (Facilitators & Hosts: Rotating**)
Wednesdays, 10:30a - 12:00p (Meridian-Kessler) (Facilitators: Carolyn & Rick; Host: Anne) (Childcare available; cost split between parents.)
Wednesdays, 7:00 – 9:00p (Irvington) (Facilitators & Hosts: Rotating**)
Wednesdays, 7:00 - 9:00p (Downtown) (Facilitator: Julie; Host: Stew)
Thursdays, 7:00 - 9:00p (Meridian Hills) (Facilitator & Host: Bob)

** Newcomers are not asked to facilitate or host. Of course, you’re welcome to, if you’d like. 

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COST

For those who can afford it, there is a cost with the WAYfinding experience. Each round we ask you make an investment in yourself of $50 - $150. It's a sliding scale; you pay what you can. And, if you can't pay, simply select our Scholarship Fund when signing up - that's all there is to it. Invest online here.

Or, you may become a sustaining member of WAYfinding by making a recurring donation of at least $30 per month. This option is not just an investment in yourself - all rounds are included - but in others. Your recurring donation (or quarterly/yearly, if you prefer) helps us sponsor new and existing participants, "get the word out," invest in public speakers and new programs, etc. You can learn more about our different investment levels here.

JOY, WONDER & THE KID IN ALL OF US

| Carolyn Lesmeister |

Young children live for joy and wonder.
It’s what they do.
It’s who they are.
Our role is to provide them with experiences and things that are worthy of their wonder.

Those insights provided the foundation for a recent intensive training on how the Montessori Method can be applied to children’s spiritual formation.*

Throughout the training, I was surprised to find myself moved to tears and having new insights about stories and symbols I thought I already understood. After all, I have two masters’ degrees in theological fields and have been serving as a Lutheran pastor for almost 9 years; the presentations from which I was learning so much were meant for 3-to-6-year-olds! It was truly humbling and awe-inspiring.

One of the key assumptions of the whole approach is that children are hard-wired with a desire to connect with something greater than themselves; in other words, that all children have an innate spiritual longing that seeks fulfillment, just as they have innate drives for other types of learning according to the more traditional Montessori Method.

The role of the adults – whether teachers or parents – in the process is to introduce the child to that greater t/Thing and then allow joy and wonder to take it from there. My favorite metaphor for the process was that it’s like setting up a blind date: you introduce the two parties, but you don’t go on the date!

Because the approach comes out of the Catholic church and thus is Christian, a lot of the details involve introducing the child to key stories from the Bible in such a way that allows them to get “hands on” with it by moving around simple yet gorgeous figurines while the story is read, and then pondering very general questions such as: “I wonder how the sheep felt?” Or, “I wonder who this God might be?”

The goal is not to get the child to come to a particular “right” answer, as is so often the case in more traditional approaches to religious education, but to genuinely spark their sense of curiosity and wonder. The adult is not to affirm nor correct anything the child might say; instead, s/he is to wonder right alongside the child. Then, whatever insights or answers the child might find are truly their own, making the insights both held more deeply but also more flexible and open to the child’s continuing process of growing, questioning, and learning. It’s about exploration, not indoctrination.

I wonder how different many people’s experiences with church might have been had they been invited into such a beautiful process of wondering from the start, and if that wondering had been encouraged as they grew older and their questions became more sophisticated and more challenging. The training was meant to equip people to work with 3-to-6-year-olds, but so much of it could apply to anyone and everyone; I believe that all people have an innate longing to connect with something greater than themselves, regardless of how they might conceive of that t/Thing or what name – if any – they might give i/It.

I wonder how we can continue to cultivate that sense of joy and wonder … in ourselves, with one another, and most especially with the children in our lives?

*The training Carolyn attended is Catechesis of the Good Shepherd.

Carolyn has served as a Lutheran (ELCA) pastor for more than 8 years but is currently transitioning out of that role and into some new ones. She has an MDiv from Pacific Lutheran Theological Seminary and an MA in Ethics and Social Theory from the Graduate Theological Union, both in Berkeley, CA; right now she loves learning about joy and wonder (and mindfulness) from her almost 2-year-old son, Xavier.

A WHOLE BIGGER FAMILY

WAYfinder Ashley Parsons says, "We so often ask our kids to do things we ourselves do not do." This is so true. Much more often, we need to "dive in" and do those things we're asking alongside our kids. Or, if we don't have kids, simply be "kid-like" and do them ourselves.

So, this week, I offer you a recent email I sent to our WAYkids' parents. The words and practices offered are not just for the kids among us; they're for all of us.  

---

Hello! Summer is (nearly) upon us, and with it, an opportunity to slow down and connect - both lowercase “c” and uppercase “C.” Though WAYkids will largely be on break this summer, I want to take this opportunity to offer you a few ideas for continuing your family’s WAYkids’ journey.

Many of you participated in Sunday’s White Pines Wilderness Academy event. What a cool place! So much of what we heard and experienced had a spiritual component, so simply to add to that…

We began this year reading the book What Is God? by Etan Boritzer. The book begins, "What is God? You are asking a very, very big question!” So true. When I talk to kids about God, I like to acknowledge this fact: “What is God is such a big question that all people - both living today and those who lived long ago - have tried to answer this question and come up with lots of different answers.” I continue by explaining, “I too am trying to answer this question for myself. And, you can answer this question for yourself too. But, you’ll have to be very curious and open, explore, investigate and ask loads of questions. You’ll need to ask ‘What is God?’ in big spaces, like crowds and the whole forest. And, you’ll need to get very small and ask “What is God?” between just two people in the crowd - like you and your mom/dad - and the tiny ant marching along the forest floor. Because God is in all of it."     

Because of this, I think nature is a natural and beautiful space for kids to experience and wonder about God. Many of us probably feel this way as adults too. I know I do. So, I want to offer a nature practice and meditation for your summer wanderings…

1. Sensory Nature Walk: Dr. Mark Germine said, "Our ability to cognitively abstract our contact with the world constantly takes our sensory experience and hides it under a veil of thought. The resulting loss of connection is, I think, the greatest ill that plagues humankind. It is the cause of many problems in the individual and in society.” The kind of slow and intentional presence a sensory nature walk requires of us helps us get out of our heads so we can experience and c/Connect directly. Our kids are usually naturally better at this than we are, but we still need to nurture this c/Connection. Use the attached Sensory Nature Scavenger Hunt with your kids to c/Connect this summer.

2. First and foremost, it’s important to just Be in the above experience with yourself and your kids. That is enough. But, if it intuitively feels right, you may want to ask your child(ren) at various points in your walk, “If this moment right now is God or tells us about God, what is God do you think? What does God feel like to you?”

3. Adapted from What Is God? by Etan Boritzer

"What Is g/God?" Meditation
 
If you want feel g/God, close your eyes, and listen to your breath go slowly in and out. Think how you are connected to everything, even if you are not touching everything.
 
Try to feel how you are connected to your Mom or Dad. Try to feel how you are part of your whole family, like your brother or sister, your grandparents, your aunts and uncles, cousins, even your friends.                       

And try to feel how all of those people are part of a whole bigger family. And how all the families of the world (even those we can't see or touch) are really a part of you and your family.

Now try and feel how all the families of the world include more than just human families: there are animal families and plant families, this forest is a family. We call this kind of family an ecosystem. Try and feel how these families are really a part of you and your family too.
 
If you can start to feel g/God like that, then maybe you will soon feel the whole answer to that very, very big question that everyone asks, "What is God?"
 
Take a deep breath in and out and slowly open your eyes.

I hope these practices prove to be c/Connective for you and your child(ren) this summer! Stay tuned for a service opportunity at some point as well. And, thank you for participating in another year of WAYkids!

Thank you!,
Anne

IN MARRIAGE AND DEMOCRACY WE MUST STOP DEMONIZING THE "OTHER"

| Anne Williamson |

Synchronicity. It’s a great word – to say, but even more so, to experience. As I was imagining and researching the topics for this round, I came across two seemingly unrelated articles: one, on why some marriages last and others fail, and the other, a conversation between former President Obama and author Marilynne Robinson on, among other things, the state of America’s democracy. Surprisingly, the two articles discussed similar ideas.

As I continued researching Robinson’s perspective on democracy, the growing similarities between it and creating lasting relationships turned my initial calm curiosity into outright geeky giddiness. Don’t worry; I’ll spare you the graduate paper I wish I had been assigned. I simply want to use this week’s blog post to encourage you to read and discuss. WAYfinding participants this round get the benefit of me having culled the most relevant segments from four unique Robinson conversations and articles, but for others reading this, start here. Then, also read the marriage article, which is not just for the coupled among us. In particular, pay attention to what both articles say about how to stop demonizing the o/Other in your life so there's space for a new story to emerge.  

Many of you are already taking part in a WAYfinding group this week, giving space and new perspectives to your reflections. This, among other things, is the gift of what we do in WAYfinding. But, if you’re not in a group, first, you're welcome anytime. We're at the halfway point, and you'd be welcome to jump in (at half the cost) for the last 4 weeks to see what you think. Sign-up for the group of your choice here. Or, if participating isn’t possible, set an intention to read and share these articles and your thoughts with others. Loving better than we did yesterday – like relationships, like democracy – is not a given, it’s (to borrow Robinson’s words) “a made thing that we make continuously.” May it be so for you this week.

SPIRITUALITY & THE TWELVE STEPS

An atheist Twelve Steps participant recently wrote that the Twelve Steps do not require him to believe in God, but rather, to stop playing God. This statement expresses beautifully what sits at the foundation of any true spiritual journey: humility. The Twelve Steps offers this truth – which is a process – perhaps better than any other tradition.

In America we love to play Master, riding the two delusions of our own absolute rightness and own absolute control. Deep down we know the truth – we ache inside its walls – but our ego, oh our ego – as poet W.H. Auden put it, our ego would rather us “be ruined than changed.”  

The spiritual journey begins and continues with humbly facing the truth of your own life. It is being honest about what is, accepting it as part of your story and then including it as you transcend it. This is the process – not the destination – of enlightenment, salvation, recovery, liberation, whatever-you-want-to-call-it. True freedom is knowing “all is well” not because God is in control but because we have access to a Consciousness – some call it God – that allows us to be strangely at peace with not being in control.

And then, despite this knowing, to get to work anyway. Because, it is not just our own journey that will continue (or not) with whether we humbly face the truth, but our American journey as well. The Twelve Steps knows this; the whole process is done in community, and eventually, for community.

This is the spiritual path of the twelve steps. Join us over the next eight weeks as we raise our consciousness. To do so is for our own wholeness and peace as well as the communities in which we live. 

Week of...
April 3 - The Four Assumptions
April 10 - Power(lessness) (Steps 1 & 2)
April 17 - What Does "Surrender" Mean? (Step 3)
April 24 - 360 Degrees of Honesty (Steps 4 & 5)
May 1 - Letting Go & Opening Up (Steps 6 & 7)
May 8 - Transcend & Include (Steps 8 & 9)
May 15 - Consciousness (Steps 10 & 11)
May 22 - A Love That Is Greater Than I (Step 12)

Click for group meeting times and locations, cost, and to sign up.