HOPE OR USELESS DESIRE

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

It's been two months since I last alluded to depression in this blog, and five months before that I spoke about it for the first time. So, honestly, I was due - depression may stay away now for longer stretches but it's hell-bent on staying in touch. I hesitate admitting this. Doing so still delivers pricks of shame, though the needles have shrunk. I'm also not sure I'm ready to admit depression as a theme in my writing - too honest, too cliche. Of course, it makes sense: our lessons, our wisdom loves to lie in the shadow side of our personality.

This week was no different. As I pushed against depression's weight, I found myself wondering about hope versus useless desire. When do we name wanting to change a personality trait, a situation, a relationship, as one or the other? And, therefore, keep trying or begin to let go, accept? 

The answer is rarely simple. It depends on a myriad of factors, uneasy answers to complicated questions: Which is kind? To who? Which is safe? Brave? Sane? Am I self-aware enough to know the difference? How long have I been trying? How long is too long? How set is she in her ways? How set am I? Is my hope enabling him? Is this institution, this dynamic, dysfunctional beyond repair? Perhaps only if I stay? Or, go? Maybe it's just not my fight? Which is loving? Which, if anything, will work?

I think these are good questions, however seldom we know the answers. I also think there may be a better one.

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DO THIS, & YOU WILL LIVE.

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

Do this, and you will live. Jesus spoke these words in The Story of the Good Samaritan. It comes after the lawyer, "to test" him, asks, "Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?" We are told upon Jesus' prompting, the lawyer offers an answer to his own question: "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself." Jesus tells him he has given the right answer, and then adds, "Do this, and you will live." 

It's an ambiguous response. Given the context, we might assume Jesus meant the lawyer would have eternal life. And yet, in Jesus' final response - after he tells the Good Samaritan story - he says, "Go and do likewise," cutting offer any reference to life after death. 

Is it possible Jesus, once again, hoped to shift perspectives? Just as a neighbor, through the story, becomes not who we serve but who we are, "life" is not some eternal destination, but here, now, today. We live not by multiplying our number of breaths but by multiplying, opening, this moment through love. Of course, we may want more literal breaths - especially for our loved ones - but it's not really the life in and of itself we want, it's the living.

It's the love. The love of this world's pulse; Jesus called it God, call it whatever you like: the music, spring air, her laughter, his warmth, that "Oh, my God" view, taste, smell, touch. This is the love we receive - as gift, grace, ordinary miracle. Living is also the love you give - increasingly, better, braver. It's being open to and moving into the spaces you are uniquely called to love - at home and along the roadside, for the sake of your friends and the bruised and beaten stranger, world.

It's up to you. No one will force your hand. But, do this, and you will not just have life, you will live.  

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EXCITING, UPCOMING EVENTS

| ANNE WILLIAMSON | 

What a beautiful day in Indianapolis! Cold but sunny and snow-covered. Today reminds me I am always just one snowfall, one experience, away from seeing the world anew. What grace! 

So, in lieu of my traditional blog post, I want to share with you a few exciting, upcoming experiences. Whether you've attended many WAYfinding events, or not a one, you are welcome! I hope you'll add your voice.


This Wednesday, March 4. Doors open 6:30p. Begins 7:00p.
Table Conversations With A... Millennial, Black Man
We all possess biases - good and bad. Hearing another person's story is one of the best ways to widen our perspectives. We love better when we draw near. 

This is the idea behind WAYfinding's new speaker series, "Table Conversations." We're thrilled to welcome James C. Wilson as our first story-teller. Details below. RSVP here.

Thursday, March 19, 7:00p - 9:00p
Sample WAYfinding Night
Come experience what WAYfinding is all about by taking part in a sample group experience with other new people and current participants. The next round of groups starts mid-April. If you're curious about WAYfinding, but you've never been (or haven't been in awhile), this is a great way to check it out!

WAYfinding meets in homes, so our Sample Nights do too. March 19 is in SoBro. Email me with questions, interest, etc. 

Saturday, April 4, 6:30p - 8:00p
Can We Talk Honestly About Jesus? 
Whether we skip to church Easter morning or stay far away, many of us wonder about the man behind the holiday. Who was Jesus? And, for some, who is he still? Can we talk honestly?

This is WAYfinding's plan. Add your voice to this special Easter weekend learning and conversation. Email me with questions, interest, etc.


Einstein said, "Truth is what stands the test of experience." I'll add, "So, experience, experience, experience!" Likely, perhaps even hopefully, we'll still end up in different places. But, this time, our posture will have changed. Having let the experiences wash through our truths, we'll feel content, peaceful in what remains. No longer will we have to defend because no longer will our beliefs depend on the fierceness of our attachment to them. 

May it be so. Let's make it so! Check out one of the above events and see what comes!   

MR. ROGERS, MY ETHICS PROFESSOR, AND PRAYER

| ANNE WILLIAMSON | 

I remember my Ethics professor in seminary saying, "The worst thing Mr. Rogers did for you kids is convince you of your specialness." Intentionally provocative, he also believed it. In an academic field that plays so often in absolutes and the consequences of conduct, catering to the individual can be a dangerous game. 

I understand this perspective. Too often in our society, the world, we over emphasize the unique, special individual. This leads to myopic points of view. I fail to see - or choose to ignore - how my choices impact others, and consequently, others suffer. It also leads to some nauseatingly terrible commercials. Two words: perfumes, cars.

We can also under emphasize our specialness, though. Religions have certainly stumbled here. Whether extinguished in the non-dualism of eastern religions or contained in the rulebooks of western religions, the individual personality has often been denigrated.

Can there exist a happy middle ground? Can we be both special and One? I hope so. I think so. LEARN. LISTEN. LOVE.

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GOT TIME? RITUAL IS A GREAT PLACE TO START.

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

I spend a lot of my life thinking about time: I really need to go to bed. Is it time to wake-up already? Shoot, I'm not going to get my daughter on time! Do I have time to grab Starbucks? I need to take more time to prayer. I need more time to listen. Do you value my time? Am I demonstrating I value yours? I have to go! What time can you talk? What day can we get together? It's dinner time; it's time to pick up your toys; TV time is up; it's time for a bath; it's potty time; it's bed time!  

I know you get it. Whatever our season of life, whatever our circumstances, time is elusive. We cannot catch it. We can only learn to ride it, to breath into it, to feel its current and float without drowning.

Easier said than done. Especially in a world where the setting of the sun and dial-up modems no longer delineate our time for us. So how can we? 

I think ritual is a great place to start. Once exclusively associated with the expression of religious belief, more and more we're breaking rituals open, allowing them to help us set apart time and space whatever our beliefs. Anthropologist T.M. Luhrmann says, "Rituals change the way we pay attention." I, for one, need more of this. I need something to metaphorically slap me across the face, saying, "It's time now. Now, you must put the phone down, let go of your to-do list, and pay attention. It's time to practice being here, just here, miraculously here." LOVE. LEARN. LISTEN.

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BEGINNINGS

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

Confession: It's been a tough week. Of course, I know full well, relatively speaking, it hasn't really been that tough; my family has the necessities: food, water, heat, Frozen on DVD. But, regardless, I've been stumbling this week, trying and failing to push beyond circumstances and the wonky way my mind sometimes works.

I believe these weeks find me occasionally for a purpose: they bring me to my knees, remind me life is not about control but surrender... in the best possible way. My heart feels small so I must break it open with a prayer of "help." I stop managing it all well enough, long enough to see grace again... to really need grace again.  

Beginnings can look like this. They often do. And, not just in early January. All year long we find ourselves slid back into old patterns, thoughts, distractions that then propel us to choose, once again, to begin again.

For me, this is one of the main reasons I crave deep, thoughtful, spiritual community. It often gives me more grace than I give myself, while at the same time, holds me accountable to the kind of life I want to lead. It's kind faces with whom I share my story, and wise perspectives I never would have heard on my own. It's the space to practice, to begin something new or for the umpteenth time. It's time set apart to c/Connect. 

This is what WAYfinding is for me and for many of you. I am so glad, and I look forward to kicking off another round of groups - of blessed discussions, experiences, sharing - this week! You'll find our topics schedule below or here. 

We're welcoming many new faces this round, and there is always more room at the table. If you're curious, please consider signing-up or checking-out a group this week - or in the weeks to come. You may email me or fill out this form. Groups this round meet:

Tuesday evenings, 7:00p - 9:00p
Wednesday evenings, 7:00p - 9:00p
Wednesday evenings, 7:00p - 9:00p (Mom's Group)
Thursday lunches, 12:00p - 1:15p

Groups are hosted in rotating homes, but generally, they'll be held in the SoBro area.

IMAGINE... FOR YOURSELF & THE WORLD

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

In lieu of my usual blog post, this week I offer you my sermon from WAYfinding's Community Christmas Service. I hope it sparks your imagination, helping you imagine a more peaceful, joy-filled and compassionate life and world.

I also wish you a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, as I'll be taking a two-week hiatus from posting.

Out of what's stirring in you, imagine... What is the thing you most need to imagine for yourself this Christmas and beyond? And, what is the thing you think the world most needs you to imagine on it's behalf? Write down your imaginings. Share them with s/Someone. Pray for guidance and the courage to begin the hard work of making your imaginings realities.  

 

IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR... WAYFINDING SIGN-UPS!

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

It's that time of year again! The season in general may claim to be the "most wonderful," but here at WAYfinding, we're also joyfully anticipating the start of our winter round of WAYgroups. They kick off the week of January 11! This 10-week round we'll wonder together what the spiritual - heck, life - journey is all about, consider the many faces of prayer, practice opening our hearts to unfamiliar stories, and more! 

If you're interested, or curious to learn more, please fill out this interest form. Please do so by one week from today, Monday, December 15. This gives me time to organize groups and get yours on your calendar before January.  

Thank you! I hope you'll add your voice this winter!

A MORE JOYFUL CHRISTMAS

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

We all want a more joyful Christmas. This doesn't mean it comes easy. The season carries with it a hefty dose of "have-tos," "shoulds," and "we've always done it this way." Some of this is unavoidable and thus acceptance is the sanest response. Much of it, though, is a choice. We can choose to celebrate the season in ways that bring real joy.

Why don't we, then? Experience has shown me two big stumbling blocks. First, tradition. Traditions can be lovely. I imagine all of us participate in cherished traditions each year. They also can be stifling - metaphorical elephants on the chest rather than practices that open our heart. The trick is knowing the difference. You'd think this would be obvious, but it's not. Lousy traditions successfully hide, even from ourselves, all the time. The reason why is the second stumbling block: we don't take the time to listen for what really brings us joy. Thus, culture, habit, guilt, fear, decide for us, and we find ourselves simply repeating last year.

This need not be the case. A different way is possible. We simply need to give ourselves the space to listen for what brings us and others real joy, and the gradual permission to let the rest go.

We'll be doing just this at two upcoming Sample WAYfinding Nights: this Wednesday, December 3, and next, December 10, both 7:00p - 9:00p. It's a great opportunity to experience what WAYfinding is all about and meet folks currently involved. I hope you can join us for this laid-back, meaningful Christmas discussion. If you're interested, have questions, contact me (anne@wayfindinglife.org). 

LEARN, LISTEN, LOVE...

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LEARNING TO HEAR THE DIVINE SPIRIT

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

I am a (Holy) Spirit person. I like to think of and experience God as a divine spirit or energy, moving in and through all things. I believe this Spirit moves us to be and love extravagantly every day, every moment. We don't always hear its calling - the divine voice is still and small, everything our culture is not - but it's there nonetheless, constant and patient.

The Spirit's unwillingness to shout can be frustrating. Even when we think we hear Its "voice," well, that's scary because the promptings usually take vulnerability and courage. And, we wonder, "What if I didn't really hear what I thought I heard? What if it's all mind games and nonsense?" Scarer still, we eventually realize we can't ever know, not really.  Faith, even thoughtful faith, always takes some, well, faith.

So instead of living into the mystery, some religious folks idolize the Bible or other sacred texts. Words are certain, right? Other folks stop listening all together. From my perspective, neither works very well. The Spirit's call is to consciousness, wholeness, peace; because we want this too, it's a call that becomes an ache when ignored.

But, it is scary. To think we'd hear the Spirit wrong. To know others assign It to their violence and greed. I don't dismiss this. I simply think these possibilities aren't worth a world disconnected from and unpracticed in hearing the Spirit. This divine energy not only guides us to our own wholeness, it guides the world to wholeness and our role in getting it there. We each have a unique calling, a vocation - things we're here to learn and be and do. The Spirit opens us to this calling, this wholeness, if we're willing. Want to risk it with me? 
 

What do you think of the idea of Spirit? A Divine Energy? Is it important, even possible, to learn to recognize Its "voice?" LISTEN, LEARN, LOVE... 

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HAVE I REALLY STOPPED TO LISTEN?

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

On Sunday, WAYfinding folks and friends got together for a sensory nature walk through a local park. The kids involved received a scavenger hunt list - things to touch, hear, see and smell. One of these items was to hear a bird. As my daughter and I took off, we felt rough and smooth bark, saw light streaming through the trees, heard friends laughing, but no birds. I remember thinking to myself, "Well, this is too bad. It must be too cold for the birds this morning. None of the kids are going to be able to complete their list." 

We went on like this for maybe 25 minutes when a question appeared in my mind's eye, "Have you really stopped to listen?" I had not. So, I scooped my daughter up, used the universal sign for "shhh," and asked her to close her eyes with mommy. And, there they were: the beautiful trills and chirps of birds high in the trees. It was a graced moment - one all too quickly interrupted by my daughter tapping my face and saying "no sleepy" - but a moment full of grace all the same. I simply had not stopped to listen.   

Does this ring true for you too? How often do we think we're listening - to our friends, kids, partners, even God - when, in fact, we're not? Because we haven't truly stopped... the external movement and noise, and internal chatter. LISTEN, LEARN, LOVE...

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WHY THE JESUS STORY MAKES ME HAPPY

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

Did you know only 10% of long-term happiness is based on the external world? 90% is how our brain processes the world we find ourselves in!* 90%! It's quite a staggering number, and a number that begs the question, "How can I train my brain toward happiness?" 

This week in WAYfinding, we're asking this question and exploring its connections to faith, to spirituality. One key connection is through something I call our "belief narratives." At WAYfinding, we are open to all beliefs. But, this has never meant we think beliefs are neutral or don't matter. We think they matter a great deal! Perhaps the main reason why is this: our beliefs shape how we process the world; they are the narratives that play "on loop" in our head, shaping our joy (or lack thereof) and actions.

For me, I've always been a fan of the Jesus story. Specifically, I like the resurrection. Now, understandably, you may be sarcastically thinking, "Real original, Anne" or "Oh, here we go, she's finally going to tell me how Jesus saves my soul." But, bear with me, because that's not my point at all. I like the resurrection story best because it shapes my thinking on pretty much everything; it is my central "belief narrative." However bad things get in my own life, however absurd the world seems, the resurrection story reminds me this day is not the end. It doesn't much matter whether it's a "true" story - at least not for me - because, for me, either way, it points to the nature of God, the universe. It says to me that with God there is always tomorrow and tomorrow is a resurrection story.  

This is my belief. It's how I process the world, my life, and because of this, I'm ultimately optimistic, internally resilient. I believe God is for me, for you, for the whole world, that God desires our resurrection - in my mind, just a fancy, theological word for our healing, wholeness, spiritual unfolding.

What about you? What stories, what belief narratives, play "on loop" in your head? Are they ultimately helpful, opening you to joy and love? Or, not? LISTEN, LEARN, LOVE below and join us this week at WAYfinding:

Tuesday, 12:00p - 1:15p
Wednesday, 7:00p - 9:00p
Wednesday, 7:00p - 9:00p (Mom's Group)
Email me for locations. All in Broad Ripple/SoBro area. 

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COMMUNITY: WHAT'S THE POINT?

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

The fall round of WAYfinding starts this week, and we're kicking things off with a discussion on community. Namely, what's the point? Why do we choose to do life with others? What does a community do for us - individually and collectively? What should it?

Maybe we gather to share a drink and a laugh? Or prayers? A listening ear? Maybe it's about service and the collective good? Or networking? Or worship? Or alternative perspectives? Accountability? Advice? Growing in love? Or...

Then, there's the question of principles - which ones matter? And, who's at the table? The list goes on. The key, I think, is to wonder and to ask. Not to fall blindly into community as it's always been simply because it's always been. Maybe there is a better way - a way that leads to more peace and wholeness, more joy.

What do you think? LEARN, LISTEN, LOVE... and consider joining the conversation at WAYfinding this week. Contact me for group times and locations.

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PERSPECTIVES

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

It had been an exhausting week: busy work schedule; sick toddler; midnight power outage and accompanying loud, electricity workers; packing. I thought I'd feel relief when finally on the plane to Seattle; instead, I was homesick. Strangely, I longed for the familiarity of my day-to-day life, however chaotic.

Fast forward 2000 miles and 24 hours. I've slept and woken up to Mt. Rainier, showered, and am now eating delicious food with my husband, sister and her fiancé. I feel almost giddy. The energy of a new city and a vacation without a certain (beloved) child has sunk in. Life looks different and me in it. 

Such experiences remind me, remind us, new perspectives are vital to seeing clearly. Stuck looking at life from one vantage for too long, and we forget. We forget parts of ourselves, that we once saw the world differently, and therefore, might again. We need these experiences to remind us that the kaleidoscope turns and is beautiful here too.

The same is true of faith. If God or the Divine is ultimately a mystery to us - and I would argue this is necessarily the case - then trying to traverse this Mystery from one perspective is too limiting (not to mention hard). We need others to lend us their perspectives, to reach up and turn our kaleidoscope. 

This is exactly what we try and do for each other every week at WAYfinding. It's not perfect. Community never is. But, maybe, it's necessary. Maybe to see a true image of God, we have to engage in God talk with people of diverse perspectives. In the absence of perpetual travel, we have to find a way to new perspectives ourselves.

What do you think? LISTEN, LEARN, LOVE...

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THE SHAPE OF MY HEART

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

One of my favorite books to read my daughter is The Shape of My Heart by Mark Sperring. It runs through a series of shapes and their role in our lives concluding with, “And this is the shape I love you with. This is the shape of my heart.” So sweet. 

Lately, though, it’s become more than a heartwarming children’s book for me; it’s become a question: how do we form the shape of our hearts? How do we? How do we actually become more compassionate, more loving? 

There are a thousand stories every day – personal and not – that pull us to explore this question.  But, recently, none has pulled my attention like the death of Michael Brown in Ferguson, MO. (You may find a timeline here.) The analysis of, and responses to, this event and its aftermath has been so diverse, it begs the-shape-of-our-hearts question. How is it that we feel so differently? 

Perhaps it is because we’re not actually practiced in changing the shape of our hearts? The reason being: to really change the shape of our hearts requires deep discomfort. It can’t be achieved through loving someone you find easy to love. It comes when you expose your heart to that, to who, you struggle to understand, you struggle to empathize with, you struggle to love, and then say to your heart, repeatedly, as many times as it takes, “Open.” Whether a spouse we know intimately or a young urban black man we don’t know at all, we change the shape of our hearts by, as Jesus said, loving the “enemy” we perceive in them.

It is my belief this is the work of real spiritual growth. Whether we call it “salvation” or “enlightenment” or “nirvana,” it is not a destination but a process of changing the shape of our hearts. It’s a process where, instead of hoping to love some people well, we, in time, shape our hearts into a form where there is nothing but love… for all. 

What do you think? LISTEN, LEARN, LOVE…

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ACCEPTANCE

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

Anyone who knows me well - and now, anyone reading this blog - knows I struggle at times with depression. My fear gets the better of me, and I sink. Thankfully, I always rise too; but, in the moment, depression sucks.

Recently, when in a depressed state, I pulled out my Bible and found myself reading in Matthew I should love my enemies. Having no human enemies, I felt deeply I was to love the "enemy" within: the depression. So, I did. I got still and started sending love to my fear, love to my depression. The best way to describe the result is expansive. I felt my heart soften and open. Instead of the exhaustion of constant resisting and fighting, I began to fall into loving acceptance. In so doing, I felt the fear recede, as if it too had received what it needed.  

What do you think about the idea of acceptance?  Take a moment to write down your thoughts. Then, LEARN, LISTEN, LOVE...

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SPIRITUAL MUSCLE TRAINING

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

I love to garden. No, that's not broad enough: I love all yard work. I do. I love being outside, digging in the dirt and listening to nature. I love the physicality; sawing off a dead limb on a tree makes me feel strong and capable. And, I love its tangible results; spend a few minutes and that bush takes shape; spend a few hours and that garden bed is alive with new colors. It's satisfying. Me + it = something I can see, a project done. 

I love spirituality too, but hardly because it behaves similar to gardening. The nature thing is there, but often it's incredibly frustrating how head and heart and intangible the whole thing feels. Whether your chosen path to connect is meditation or chanting or "accepting Jesus" or whatever, you + it doesn't always = peace, enlightenment, you name it. Changing the shape of our hearts and minds, our lives, the world, is slow work, satisfying often only in time.   

This is why I'm starting to think it takes real practice and discipline. Why "they," whoever they are, were wise folks when they named the methods we use to connect and grow in love exactly that: spiritual practices, spiritual disciplines. I'm presently smack dab in the middle of a 21-day meditation challenge, and I can hear my spirit saying, "This is what is required, if you want peace." Not necessarily meditation, but a commitment to train my "spiritual muscles," a commitment to practice until and through new habits or ways of being take shape. What do you think? LISTEN on, LEARN, LOVE...

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LISTENING TO DEATH

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

I'm not someone who generally thinks a lot about death. But, lately, I've been thinking about it more. Having a child started the ball rolling, with its accompanying SIDS and baby proofing and writing of the will. Then, a young family friend died suddenly, and I officiated the wedding of another family friend whose father almost died. Neighbors have or are in the process of saying goodbye to their beloved dog, and shootings are rampant in the city. Death is here; it is an unshakable part of life. 

Maybe, then, it's worth thinking about. Not all the time, but sometimes and not just when it is thrust upon us. I don't wish for death - for myself and more so for the ones I love, for the ones anyone loves. But, I also don't want to live in fear of it or miss its lessons. LISTEN, LEARN, LOVE... 

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A CLIMATE ACTION PLAN FOR INDIANA

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

My internet has been "acting up" today. I'd love to find a way to blame this on climate change, as it would serve as the perfect introduction to today's topic; but, alas, I'll have to be content to keep cursing AT&T. (And, look, I found a way to use it and publicly vent my frustration anyway!)

As it turns out, though, I'm "in luck," for according to the National Climate Assessment Report released on May 6, there are plenty of other, far worse problems to blame on climate change: extreme heat and humidity, decreased agricultural productivity, increased health risks due to reduced air and water quality, invasive species, flooding and damaging thunderstorms, and this is just the Midwest. Our climate is changing and not for the better.

This, of course, worries and saddens me. I think about my daughter, who will inherit a world she did not create. I think about the poor, who consume less stuff but disproportionately ingest more bad air, water, food, etc. Animals carry this burden too. And, I think about the Earth, the home we depend on and yet destroy.

Under the weight of these thoughts, I feel my spirit ache. I don't believe this is the way we're called to live and be. I believe we're called to better vision, greater consciousness: to see the connections and interdependence, and live accordingly. I believe we're called to love better.

Spend the next few minutes LEARNing and LISTENing to your own spirit, to the Spirit. What do you feel? Hear? What's stirring? Then, consider actively LOV(E)ing by adding your name to the below petition for Indiana to create a climate action plan.

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CENTERING PRAYER

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

Returning from vacation is never easy. It's been especially hard for me this week. I've been emotionally chaotic and physically stagnant; the worst of combinations in my book. Sure, it's also brought about some blessed conversations and insights, but I can't help thinking, if only I'd taken the time to center and listen, I could have kept the "a-ha's" and skipped the drama. 

Hence, my offering to you today is what I offered myself this morning: Centering Prayer. LEARN, LISTEN, LOVE...

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