LEARNING TO HEAR THE DIVINE SPIRIT

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

I am a (Holy) Spirit person. I like to think of and experience God as a divine spirit or energy, moving in and through all things. I believe this Spirit moves us to be and love extravagantly every day, every moment. We don't always hear its calling - the divine voice is still and small, everything our culture is not - but it's there nonetheless, constant and patient.

The Spirit's unwillingness to shout can be frustrating. Even when we think we hear Its "voice," well, that's scary because the promptings usually take vulnerability and courage. And, we wonder, "What if I didn't really hear what I thought I heard? What if it's all mind games and nonsense?" Scarer still, we eventually realize we can't ever know, not really.  Faith, even thoughtful faith, always takes some, well, faith.

So instead of living into the mystery, some religious folks idolize the Bible or other sacred texts. Words are certain, right? Other folks stop listening all together. From my perspective, neither works very well. The Spirit's call is to consciousness, wholeness, peace; because we want this too, it's a call that becomes an ache when ignored.

But, it is scary. To think we'd hear the Spirit wrong. To know others assign It to their violence and greed. I don't dismiss this. I simply think these possibilities aren't worth a world disconnected from and unpracticed in hearing the Spirit. This divine energy not only guides us to our own wholeness, it guides the world to wholeness and our role in getting it there. We each have a unique calling, a vocation - things we're here to learn and be and do. The Spirit opens us to this calling, this wholeness, if we're willing. Want to risk it with me? 
 

What do you think of the idea of Spirit? A Divine Energy? Is it important, even possible, to learn to recognize Its "voice?" LISTEN, LEARN, LOVE... 

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HAVE I REALLY STOPPED TO LISTEN?

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

On Sunday, WAYfinding folks and friends got together for a sensory nature walk through a local park. The kids involved received a scavenger hunt list - things to touch, hear, see and smell. One of these items was to hear a bird. As my daughter and I took off, we felt rough and smooth bark, saw light streaming through the trees, heard friends laughing, but no birds. I remember thinking to myself, "Well, this is too bad. It must be too cold for the birds this morning. None of the kids are going to be able to complete their list." 

We went on like this for maybe 25 minutes when a question appeared in my mind's eye, "Have you really stopped to listen?" I had not. So, I scooped my daughter up, used the universal sign for "shhh," and asked her to close her eyes with mommy. And, there they were: the beautiful trills and chirps of birds high in the trees. It was a graced moment - one all too quickly interrupted by my daughter tapping my face and saying "no sleepy" - but a moment full of grace all the same. I simply had not stopped to listen.   

Does this ring true for you too? How often do we think we're listening - to our friends, kids, partners, even God - when, in fact, we're not? Because we haven't truly stopped... the external movement and noise, and internal chatter. LISTEN, LEARN, LOVE...

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WHY THE JESUS STORY MAKES ME HAPPY

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

Did you know only 10% of long-term happiness is based on the external world? 90% is how our brain processes the world we find ourselves in!* 90%! It's quite a staggering number, and a number that begs the question, "How can I train my brain toward happiness?" 

This week in WAYfinding, we're asking this question and exploring its connections to faith, to spirituality. One key connection is through something I call our "belief narratives." At WAYfinding, we are open to all beliefs. But, this has never meant we think beliefs are neutral or don't matter. We think they matter a great deal! Perhaps the main reason why is this: our beliefs shape how we process the world; they are the narratives that play "on loop" in our head, shaping our joy (or lack thereof) and actions.

For me, I've always been a fan of the Jesus story. Specifically, I like the resurrection. Now, understandably, you may be sarcastically thinking, "Real original, Anne" or "Oh, here we go, she's finally going to tell me how Jesus saves my soul." But, bear with me, because that's not my point at all. I like the resurrection story best because it shapes my thinking on pretty much everything; it is my central "belief narrative." However bad things get in my own life, however absurd the world seems, the resurrection story reminds me this day is not the end. It doesn't much matter whether it's a "true" story - at least not for me - because, for me, either way, it points to the nature of God, the universe. It says to me that with God there is always tomorrow and tomorrow is a resurrection story.  

This is my belief. It's how I process the world, my life, and because of this, I'm ultimately optimistic, internally resilient. I believe God is for me, for you, for the whole world, that God desires our resurrection - in my mind, just a fancy, theological word for our healing, wholeness, spiritual unfolding.

What about you? What stories, what belief narratives, play "on loop" in your head? Are they ultimately helpful, opening you to joy and love? Or, not? LISTEN, LEARN, LOVE below and join us this week at WAYfinding:

Tuesday, 12:00p - 1:15p
Wednesday, 7:00p - 9:00p
Wednesday, 7:00p - 9:00p (Mom's Group)
Email me for locations. All in Broad Ripple/SoBro area. 

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COMMUNITY: WHAT'S THE POINT?

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

The fall round of WAYfinding starts this week, and we're kicking things off with a discussion on community. Namely, what's the point? Why do we choose to do life with others? What does a community do for us - individually and collectively? What should it?

Maybe we gather to share a drink and a laugh? Or prayers? A listening ear? Maybe it's about service and the collective good? Or networking? Or worship? Or alternative perspectives? Accountability? Advice? Growing in love? Or...

Then, there's the question of principles - which ones matter? And, who's at the table? The list goes on. The key, I think, is to wonder and to ask. Not to fall blindly into community as it's always been simply because it's always been. Maybe there is a better way - a way that leads to more peace and wholeness, more joy.

What do you think? LEARN, LISTEN, LOVE... and consider joining the conversation at WAYfinding this week. Contact me for group times and locations.

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THE SHAPE OF MY HEART

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

One of my favorite books to read my daughter is The Shape of My Heart by Mark Sperring. It runs through a series of shapes and their role in our lives concluding with, “And this is the shape I love you with. This is the shape of my heart.” So sweet. 

Lately, though, it’s become more than a heartwarming children’s book for me; it’s become a question: how do we form the shape of our hearts? How do we? How do we actually become more compassionate, more loving? 

There are a thousand stories every day – personal and not – that pull us to explore this question.  But, recently, none has pulled my attention like the death of Michael Brown in Ferguson, MO. (You may find a timeline here.) The analysis of, and responses to, this event and its aftermath has been so diverse, it begs the-shape-of-our-hearts question. How is it that we feel so differently? 

Perhaps it is because we’re not actually practiced in changing the shape of our hearts? The reason being: to really change the shape of our hearts requires deep discomfort. It can’t be achieved through loving someone you find easy to love. It comes when you expose your heart to that, to who, you struggle to understand, you struggle to empathize with, you struggle to love, and then say to your heart, repeatedly, as many times as it takes, “Open.” Whether a spouse we know intimately or a young urban black man we don’t know at all, we change the shape of our hearts by, as Jesus said, loving the “enemy” we perceive in them.

It is my belief this is the work of real spiritual growth. Whether we call it “salvation” or “enlightenment” or “nirvana,” it is not a destination but a process of changing the shape of our hearts. It’s a process where, instead of hoping to love some people well, we, in time, shape our hearts into a form where there is nothing but love… for all. 

What do you think? LISTEN, LEARN, LOVE…

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ACCEPTANCE

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

Anyone who knows me well - and now, anyone reading this blog - knows I struggle at times with depression. My fear gets the better of me, and I sink. Thankfully, I always rise too; but, in the moment, depression sucks.

Recently, when in a depressed state, I pulled out my Bible and found myself reading in Matthew I should love my enemies. Having no human enemies, I felt deeply I was to love the "enemy" within: the depression. So, I did. I got still and started sending love to my fear, love to my depression. The best way to describe the result is expansive. I felt my heart soften and open. Instead of the exhaustion of constant resisting and fighting, I began to fall into loving acceptance. In so doing, I felt the fear recede, as if it too had received what it needed.  

What do you think about the idea of acceptance?  Take a moment to write down your thoughts. Then, LEARN, LISTEN, LOVE...

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RESPONDING TO THE WORLD'S PAIN

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

The truth of this world is sad and unjust situations are happening all the time, every second. Sometimes I feel very removed from them - and honestly, it is necessary to; we cannot sit in pain perpetually - but sometimes, I feel them deeply.  Whether Malaysia Airlines Flight 17, the ground offensive in Gaza, immigrant children suffering on the U.S. border, a Facebook post of both mother and child fighting cancer, our broken prison system, or a close friend in pain, this has been a week for feeling it.

When this happens, what do we do? How are we to respond? LEARN, LOVE, LISTEN...

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SPIRITUAL MUSCLE TRAINING

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

I love to garden. No, that's not broad enough: I love all yard work. I do. I love being outside, digging in the dirt and listening to nature. I love the physicality; sawing off a dead limb on a tree makes me feel strong and capable. And, I love its tangible results; spend a few minutes and that bush takes shape; spend a few hours and that garden bed is alive with new colors. It's satisfying. Me + it = something I can see, a project done. 

I love spirituality too, but hardly because it behaves similar to gardening. The nature thing is there, but often it's incredibly frustrating how head and heart and intangible the whole thing feels. Whether your chosen path to connect is meditation or chanting or "accepting Jesus" or whatever, you + it doesn't always = peace, enlightenment, you name it. Changing the shape of our hearts and minds, our lives, the world, is slow work, satisfying often only in time.   

This is why I'm starting to think it takes real practice and discipline. Why "they," whoever they are, were wise folks when they named the methods we use to connect and grow in love exactly that: spiritual practices, spiritual disciplines. I'm presently smack dab in the middle of a 21-day meditation challenge, and I can hear my spirit saying, "This is what is required, if you want peace." Not necessarily meditation, but a commitment to train my "spiritual muscles," a commitment to practice until and through new habits or ways of being take shape. What do you think? LISTEN on, LEARN, LOVE...

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CENTERING PRAYER

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

Returning from vacation is never easy. It's been especially hard for me this week. I've been emotionally chaotic and physically stagnant; the worst of combinations in my book. Sure, it's also brought about some blessed conversations and insights, but I can't help thinking, if only I'd taken the time to center and listen, I could have kept the "a-ha's" and skipped the drama. 

Hence, my offering to you today is what I offered myself this morning: Centering Prayer. LEARN, LISTEN, LOVE...

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EUREKA! A WATCH

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

In the last few weeks, I have started wearing a watch again. I had read somewhere it can help you check your smartphone less frequently - which I want to do - so I decided to give it a try. And... it helps. It really does. Of course, I still reach for my phone much more than is necessary - it's an easy avoidance and procrastination tool, and mostly it's habit - but even if the watch cuts five 2-minute tap-and-scroll-throughs from my day, it seems worth it. That's five more opportunities to stay present, to feel, to be.

The watch I'm wearing now was my maternal grandmothers. In thinking back, I don't have a single memory of her moving quickly or multi-tasking. Her movements always seemed to say, "We've got time and I'm right here," even if her words did not. Maybe it was the watch. LISTEN, LEARN, LOVE...

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THE WHOLE PSALM

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

As a teenager, I loved Psalm 139. Because I struggled with depression, verses such as 11 and 12 - "If I say, 'Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light around me become night,' even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is as bright as the day..." - were deeply comforting. I felt hopeful and connected to something bigger when reading it.

That is, until I got to verse 19. You can read the whole psalm here, but to give you an idea the next few verses include, "O that you would kill the wicked, O God... Do I not hate those who hate you, O Lord?... I hate them with perfect hatred; I count them my enemies." Such anger and violence. Ideas that did not sit well with my image of God. I wanted to take a giant red pen through them... and so I did. For many years, anytime I read or shared Psalm 139, I simply skipped over verses 19 - 22. I did this until it stopped working for me... LEARN, LISTEN, LOVE...

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ONE SONG GLORY

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

Both my husband, Todd, and I love to sing our daughter to bed. Whereas I almost always sing "Edelweiss" from The Sound of Music, Todd's selections jump around. So, a few nights ago, I asked, "What did you sing to her?" Because he couldn't think of the title, he started singing to me, "... One song, a song about love. Glory, from the soul of a young man. A young man, find the one song...." He then added, "I'm pretty sure it's called 'One Song.'" Well, I was pretty sure it wasn't, "No, it's just called, 'Glory.' I'm fairly certain." (The unspoken here was we both knew it was from Rent, a love for which we've shared for 18 years and occasionally erupts into this kind of trivia sparring.) Todd, upping the pride ante: "No, it's definitely called 'One Song.'" Me: "No, it's 'Glory,' for sure." Todd: "Okay, let's look it up." Wait. Wait. Wait. A not-quite-gloating smile emerges on his face, "It's called, 'One Song... Glory." I smile ironically and say out loud, "Of course. Of course it is." LISTEN, LEARN, LOVE...

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THE IMPORTANCE OF STORY

|ANNE WILLIAMSON|

WAYfinding is both a growing online community, through this blog, and a "bricks and mortar" community in Indianapolis. For the last two weeks, the latter has been discussing the importance of story. Namely, in taking the time to detail and reflect on our life story(ies) thus far, its lessons, patterns and wisdom can arise.   

The importance of such work was echoed beautifully in a NPR Here & Now story last week titled "Restarting Life Out From Under Polio's Shadow." In it, Gail Caldwell thoughtfully reflects on how a surgery in her 50s that greatly improved a limp she'd had from polio since 6 months of age challenged her story.   

LEARN, then let's reflect and LOVE together and keep LISTENing...

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HONESTY

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

I am increasingly convinced honesty sits at the heart of all good things. Want to uncover your passion? Get honest about answering the question, "What would I do if I weren't afraid?" Looking for deeper connections? Be honest about who you are - where you struggle and find joy. Want to laugh really hard? Just wait for the next honestly human and hilarious moment. Frustrated about your relationship with food? Find the courage (and support) to explore why and how you really use it. Wondering why your prayers feel flat? Ditch the pretense and try a little raw truth: "God, I don't trust you" or "I guess I really don't want to forgive. I'm afraid of what forgiving means: forgetting, me being 'okay'..." or "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" or... 

Honesty isn't particularly easy, especially when we're unaccustomed to it. It can even be painful... but only at first. Then, it becomes the key to our freedom, joy, reconciliation, you name it. LISTEN, LEARN, LOVE. What do you hear, honestly?

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HOLY WEEK

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

It's a big week in the Christian tradition: Holy Week, Easter. And, I'll be honest: I don't know what to do about it. The story, and thus its commemorative days, is deeply meaningful to me; yet, I have little desire to attend church. I want my daughter - and myself - to experience traditions beyond bunnies and eggs; yet, I don't yet know what to incorporate or create.

I've been rereading the book of Mark over the last few weeks, and it strikes me that Jesus too was celebrating holy days at this time: Passover. Of course, his circumstances were unique. And yet, amid the extraordinary, I also read a deeply human struggle: how to remember an old story in ways that feel honest and connecting, personally. For Jesus, given his obvious disdain for the practice, we can assume temple sacrifices went off his list (Mark 11.15-19). He also seems to have taken a traditional meal, the Passover Seder, and infused it with new meaning for himself and his disciples, what became The Lord's Supper (Mark 14.22-24).

Since that time, many new (Christian) traditions have arisen. We don't have to label each "good" or "bad" to discern whether a tradition is personally meaningful. What feels honest and connecting for you may not for your neighbor. Jesus' reimagining of his own traditions teaches that what matters most is to discern the story's point and live authentically from there. What would it look like for you, for me, to do the same? LISTEN, LEARN, LOVE... 

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VULNERABILITY

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

My daughter is walking now. Yea! She's also falling now... A LOT. And not soft, little bottom plops.  Big, face-plant falls into unkind objects. I hate when she gets hurts, but it's complicated because I'm also proud of why she gets hurt: she's willing to fall.

In the below reflection by Lily Percy, she writes, "Part of living curiously is being open to failure. And part of failure is being willing to be vulnerable." 

The thing about kids is they're necessarily vulnerable. They don't have a choice.  It's either step forward or forever remain seated. For parents, this can be scary, but more so, if we let it, it's inspiring. What would happen if we each chose, or perhaps accepted, vulnerability? Would it stop holding us back? Would we, like kids, become more willing to fall, to fail, to step forward curiously? In fact, would we begin to see vulnerability as a prerequisite for growth? LEARN, LISTEN, LOVE...  

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STILLNESS IN DECISION MAKING

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

You may or may not be familiar with last week's World Vision news story. To summarize: World Vision works to end poverty and injustice around the world, most visibly through child sponsorship. On Monday, March 24, World Vision (US branch) announced it would begin employing gay Christians in legal same-sex marriages. After intense criticism and dropped sponsorships from conservative evangelical Christians, on March 26, WV reversed that decision.  

Now, as a person unapologetically in favor of comprehensive equal rights for LGBTQ individuals, there are a myriad of reasons I'm anti WV's reversal; but, honestly, the biggest has to do with timing. Sources tell us WV spent 2 years in prayer and discernment around employing committed LGBTQ folks. They took just 2 days to reverse that decision! 2 years of listening amid normal daily life versus 2 days of mind-racing amid a media frenzy and disappearing contributions. If God "speaks," how does God "speak"? How do we decide to trust what it is we "hear"? LISTEN, LEARN, LOVE...  

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HAPPY

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

I've been thinking a lot about happiness lately... and not just because I love the Pharrell song. Namely, how does one "get" happy? Perhaps it is the consequence of circumstance. Or, one's natural disposition. Maybe it's more like an object, floating in and out of our life "willy nilly" at the whim of our subconscious. Or, maybe it's a choice. Perhaps a choice hindered or bolstered by other choices, daily, minute-to-minute even. LISTEN, LEARN, LOVE...

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