DO I STILL SAY "DEAR GOD"?

| ANNE WILLIAMSON | 

I had been in seminary a year when I found myself in an hotel room, alone, and feeling incredibly sad. It was the start of vacation, no papers were due, nothing to distract. So, I had to listen, listen to a truth I'd been pushing down for months: my beliefs about God did not make sense to me anymore. There, I'd said it. And the truth kept rolling: maybe they had always not made sense to me. Maybe this is why I went to seminary.

It felt like a kind of death. The God I knew was no more. And, I was sad. Sad and worried: what would become of my faith? A grief, and its process, that I realized then had already begun months earlier, swept over me. I let myself cry.

I also remember, though, experiencing a kind of lightening of the air around me. I think now I'd call it hope. I hoped in that moment there would be another way to imagine God. I chose to continue trusting the spirit-filled reality I knew, even though I now no longer had words to explain it.

In the years that followed, words came. I was introduced to new images, metaphors, ideas, theologies. They made sense to me. I found God again without abandoning myself.

Interestingly, translating these new images into my daily, personal relationship with God was much harder. Intellectually things made sense but my ability to be present with God suffered. I could think and talk about God all day long, but ask me to practice the presence of God, to pray, and nothing. I would sit there like a novice trying desperately to repeat a necessary technique she'd only ever lucked into the first time.  

The problem, of course, was my understanding of prayer hadn't yet caught up to my new ideas about God. What was prayer to look like now? How should I begin? Do I still say "Dear God"? Or, "Dear Sacred Spirit, Energy, the One Who is Both Us and Greater Than Us"? Doesn't exactly roll off the tongue. How did prayer work now? Does God still intervene? Does prayer work at all?

These are the questions we'll be wondering about together in group this week. Consider adding your voice. If not, read on and LEARN : LISTEN : LOVE.

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PRAY WITHOUT CEASING. REALLY?

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

Pray without ceasing. That's what the Bible says. I used to interpret this as some sort of pious challenge reserved for monks, nuns and those kids who memorized Bible verses. (Okay, I was one of those kids, but only briefly, and secretly.) It was impractical. How many "now I lay me"s and "dear god"s can one say in a day and get anything else done?

Because, of course, that's what prayer was: talking to God. Talking to God with rules. Do be honest, but not if your issue is with God. It's strange to bow but perfectly normal to close your eyes and clasp your hands. Before making any requests, praise and give thanks. For a long while, despite all these rules, prayer as talking to God worked well for me; I loved sharing my heart.

Eventually, things changed. I got angry, and God was not exempt. I saw hundreds of people bow in unison and found it beautiful. My image of God changed, and with it, I found more peace and movement in silence than praise. I could not pray the way I once did, and honestly, I felt both relief and a deep ache. 

Theologian Kent Ira Groff says prayer is "... to practice the presence, to go to God by any means, by any means to let God come to you." Reading this definition was like a welcomed fissure in a dam. The new waters knock me down occasionally but before, my spirit was parched. 

Pray without ceasing. I realize now it wasn't a challenge. It was permission. Permission to practice the presence and by any means; because, this is the only way we could possibly do it without ceasing.

Of course, this still isn't easy. For me, it's a way of being that feels very far away some days. But, I hope in it, and I practice. I walk and breathe. I fall and get up. I meditate. I’m here. I open myself up to new ways of practicing, of prayer. I listen. Oh, and I talk. I still talk to God.   

LIFE #NOFILTER

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

I'm sitting here listening to my husband try to teach our daughter how to calm down through breathing. The source of her exasperation: bread. She loves it and usually has to wait for it to toast and get smeared with peanut butter. This lapse in time often proves too much, and she begins to meltdown. Of course, her response is disproportionate - as her parents, at least one of our jobs is to make sure, as an adult, she doesn't erupt in tears at the bagel shop; but, I do relate to her passion, even admire it a little.   

This struggle echoes in my spiritual journey: I want peace, wholeness, the "undistracted state" as Buddhist teacher Pema Chödrön calls it, but I also fear this state will tamper my passion. I love bread too... er, I mean life and justice. Can we be both passionate about life and "zen"? It's confusing because both eastern and western spiritual philosophies have taught life itself is the distraction. But, isn't life also the joy? Isn't it the people and environments, the food and good fights that offer us meaning, that offer purpose? 

This is where I love when Pema Chödrön, in the below video, talks about being wide-awake. Yes, life can distract; this is undeniable. But, detoxing from these distractions doesn't mean the end of joy, passion, purpose. Instead, the undistracted state means we're wide-awake to experience life more deeply, to taste more acutely, to fight fairer, to love better. It's life #nofilter.

LEARN, LISTEN, LOVE...

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BEGINNINGS

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

Confession: It's been a tough week. Of course, I know full well, relatively speaking, it hasn't really been that tough; my family has the necessities: food, water, heat, Frozen on DVD. But, regardless, I've been stumbling this week, trying and failing to push beyond circumstances and the wonky way my mind sometimes works.

I believe these weeks find me occasionally for a purpose: they bring me to my knees, remind me life is not about control but surrender... in the best possible way. My heart feels small so I must break it open with a prayer of "help." I stop managing it all well enough, long enough to see grace again... to really need grace again.  

Beginnings can look like this. They often do. And, not just in early January. All year long we find ourselves slid back into old patterns, thoughts, distractions that then propel us to choose, once again, to begin again.

For me, this is one of the main reasons I crave deep, thoughtful, spiritual community. It often gives me more grace than I give myself, while at the same time, holds me accountable to the kind of life I want to lead. It's kind faces with whom I share my story, and wise perspectives I never would have heard on my own. It's the space to practice, to begin something new or for the umpteenth time. It's time set apart to c/Connect. 

This is what WAYfinding is for me and for many of you. I am so glad, and I look forward to kicking off another round of groups - of blessed discussions, experiences, sharing - this week! You'll find our topics schedule below or here. 

We're welcoming many new faces this round, and there is always more room at the table. If you're curious, please consider signing-up or checking-out a group this week - or in the weeks to come. You may email me or fill out this form. Groups this round meet:

Tuesday evenings, 7:00p - 9:00p
Wednesday evenings, 7:00p - 9:00p
Wednesday evenings, 7:00p - 9:00p (Mom's Group)
Thursday lunches, 12:00p - 1:15p

Groups are hosted in rotating homes, but generally, they'll be held in the SoBro area.

IMAGINE... FOR YOURSELF & THE WORLD

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

In lieu of my usual blog post, this week I offer you my sermon from WAYfinding's Community Christmas Service. I hope it sparks your imagination, helping you imagine a more peaceful, joy-filled and compassionate life and world.

I also wish you a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, as I'll be taking a two-week hiatus from posting.

Out of what's stirring in you, imagine... What is the thing you most need to imagine for yourself this Christmas and beyond? And, what is the thing you think the world most needs you to imagine on it's behalf? Write down your imaginings. Share them with s/Someone. Pray for guidance and the courage to begin the hard work of making your imaginings realities.  

 

IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR... WAYFINDING SIGN-UPS!

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

It's that time of year again! The season in general may claim to be the "most wonderful," but here at WAYfinding, we're also joyfully anticipating the start of our winter round of WAYgroups. They kick off the week of January 11! This 10-week round we'll wonder together what the spiritual - heck, life - journey is all about, consider the many faces of prayer, practice opening our hearts to unfamiliar stories, and more! 

If you're interested, or curious to learn more, please fill out this interest form. Please do so by one week from today, Monday, December 15. This gives me time to organize groups and get yours on your calendar before January.  

Thank you! I hope you'll add your voice this winter!

A MORE JOYFUL CHRISTMAS

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

We all want a more joyful Christmas. This doesn't mean it comes easy. The season carries with it a hefty dose of "have-tos," "shoulds," and "we've always done it this way." Some of this is unavoidable and thus acceptance is the sanest response. Much of it, though, is a choice. We can choose to celebrate the season in ways that bring real joy.

Why don't we, then? Experience has shown me two big stumbling blocks. First, tradition. Traditions can be lovely. I imagine all of us participate in cherished traditions each year. They also can be stifling - metaphorical elephants on the chest rather than practices that open our heart. The trick is knowing the difference. You'd think this would be obvious, but it's not. Lousy traditions successfully hide, even from ourselves, all the time. The reason why is the second stumbling block: we don't take the time to listen for what really brings us joy. Thus, culture, habit, guilt, fear, decide for us, and we find ourselves simply repeating last year.

This need not be the case. A different way is possible. We simply need to give ourselves the space to listen for what brings us and others real joy, and the gradual permission to let the rest go.

We'll be doing just this at two upcoming Sample WAYfinding Nights: this Wednesday, December 3, and next, December 10, both 7:00p - 9:00p. It's a great opportunity to experience what WAYfinding is all about and meet folks currently involved. I hope you can join us for this laid-back, meaningful Christmas discussion. If you're interested, have questions, contact me (anne@wayfindinglife.org). 

LEARN, LISTEN, LOVE...

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GRATEFULNESS

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

Our culture increasingly skips Thanksgiving. I was in Target Monday, and it was Christmas, Christmas everywhere. Christmas on the shelves, Christmas hanging from the ceiling. When checking out, I noticed a singular "Happy Thanksgiving" sign above the cash registers. It looked depressingly out-of-place. I miss Thanksgiving. And, if the increased societal grumbling over the Halloween to Christmas leap is any indication, I'm not alone.

I think our mutual longing springs from the fact that, intuitively, we know we need Thanksgiving. Before the frenzy and the stuff, we need a day (or a couple) to sit and be grateful. To reflect on what we have already. To be present to the moment and the faces sitting around the table. Even when it's hard - when relationships are messy, precious faces present last year are missing, or we're struggling with life in general - gratefulness is still important. It's important because it reminds us of the good that already is and the good we hope will be.

Many teachers, spiritual leaders, parents, psychologists promote gratefulness. Perhaps no time during the year is their wise counsel more important than now. Every direction we look in the coming weeks, we'll see one consistent message: what we have is not enough. This is the shadow side of Christmas, among all the loveliness. And, it is lovely. I am a fan of Christmas. I simply think gratefulness, beginning with Thanksgiving, and then as a perpetual spiritual practice throughout the season, provides a necessary balance. Gratefulness reminds us of what really matters, and in so doing, shapes how we spend our time, our money, our energy; that is, gratefulness, if we let it, shapes Christmas. LISTEN, LEARN, LOVE...

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TAIZE FOR ADVENT, OR SOMETHING LIKE IT

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

I plan to practice Taizé for Advent. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, you're not alone. Both are "churchy" words, not part of most folks' everyday lexicon. Even for people who recognize these words, they may not be able to explain them. 

We frequently run into the "churchy" or spiritual word problem at WAYfinding. Anytime you bring together individuals with different beliefs and backgrounds, words can be barriers. Heck, words can be barriers for siblings raised in the same home, worshipping at the same synagogue. Spirit, God, reconciliation, calling, justice, Universe, soul, light, darkness, blessing, Jesus, consciousness, grace, love, and on and on, these words elicit different emotional responses, mean different things to different people. Real comprehension of what another person is saying is not easy. Sometimes we don't know what we're saying ourselves.  

So, what do we do? Is the answer to all slowly acquire the same lexicon with the same meaning ascribed to each word? Maybe. This certainly can make community easier. Personally, though, I hope this isn't our solution. It would mean the eventual subjugation of all diversity to one dominant perspective - impossible, uninteresting, dangerous and an incorrect representation of "g/God." Personally, I hope we can be more creative than this. I hope we can learn to be more okay with ambiguity, mystery, freedom.

Once again, then, my plan: I am going to practice Taizé (an ecumenical monastic community in France, but for my purposes, the contemplative prayer services they use and are offered throughout Indianapolis each Sunday) for Advent (the four Sundays and accompanying weeks before Christmas when Christians lean into the Spirit as they wait for the incarnation of God). That is, in the weeks leading up to Christmas, I'm going to do something meaningful to me, something that reminds me to listen and be love, amidst the craziness of the season. That's all. I may say "Taizé for Advent," but what I really mean is "or something like it."

This is all the LISTENing, LEARNing and LOVEing I'm offering this week, so I'll close by asking, "What practice would remind you to listen and be love this holiday season?" Be still and open to what may come. Your answer may require breaking with tradition or living more fully into one. It will definitely require your intention; hence, why I'm asking you now. The season will be here soon. Let's lean into the Spirit, love, whatever you call it, together. 

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LEARNING TO HEAR THE DIVINE SPIRIT

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

I am a (Holy) Spirit person. I like to think of and experience God as a divine spirit or energy, moving in and through all things. I believe this Spirit moves us to be and love extravagantly every day, every moment. We don't always hear its calling - the divine voice is still and small, everything our culture is not - but it's there nonetheless, constant and patient.

The Spirit's unwillingness to shout can be frustrating. Even when we think we hear Its "voice," well, that's scary because the promptings usually take vulnerability and courage. And, we wonder, "What if I didn't really hear what I thought I heard? What if it's all mind games and nonsense?" Scarer still, we eventually realize we can't ever know, not really.  Faith, even thoughtful faith, always takes some, well, faith.

So instead of living into the mystery, some religious folks idolize the Bible or other sacred texts. Words are certain, right? Other folks stop listening all together. From my perspective, neither works very well. The Spirit's call is to consciousness, wholeness, peace; because we want this too, it's a call that becomes an ache when ignored.

But, it is scary. To think we'd hear the Spirit wrong. To know others assign It to their violence and greed. I don't dismiss this. I simply think these possibilities aren't worth a world disconnected from and unpracticed in hearing the Spirit. This divine energy not only guides us to our own wholeness, it guides the world to wholeness and our role in getting it there. We each have a unique calling, a vocation - things we're here to learn and be and do. The Spirit opens us to this calling, this wholeness, if we're willing. Want to risk it with me? 
 

What do you think of the idea of Spirit? A Divine Energy? Is it important, even possible, to learn to recognize Its "voice?" LISTEN, LEARN, LOVE... 

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THE GIFT OF LIMITS

| ANNE WILLIAMSON | 

I see an America confused at its limits. After centuries of take, take, take, we're (slowly) waking up to the reality that this planet is not infinite. Earth has limits. Where once wages increased with productivity, now it's poverty, and millions suffer under the golden calf called the bottom line. People have limits too. And, even for the relatively wealthy, baked in a culture of more, more, more, we're beginning to wonder, "Are all these things and activities worth it? Do I have more joy? Do my neighbors?"

Instead of resisting these limits - hanging onto a familiar but crumbling model -, what if we embraced them? What if we chose to see them as the spiritual lesson they are? Time and resources and energies are limited. Maybe this is okay. Maybe it's even a gift. LEARN, LISTEN, LOVE...

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JESUS, THE ACTIVIST

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

There's this Jesus scene in the Bible that used to scare me and now I love. In it, Jesus enters the temple in Jerusalem during Passover and begins overturning tables, driving out the money-changers and sellers of doves. (Yep, that was a thing.) He's angry, proclaiming, "It is written, 'My house shall be called a house of prayer'; but you are making it a den of robbers." 

As a teenager, I didn't find Jesus' behavior very "Christ like." Ironic, I know. Where were the children on his lap, healings, and words of peace? Why was he so angry? LEARN, LISTEN, LOVE... 

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GOD OF SURPRISES

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

I recently read an article by James Martin, a Jesuit priest, about the benefits of being both spiritual and religious. In it, Martin is honest about the many sins of religion. He also asks us to consider the benefits. Particularly in contrast to spirituality, he sights community and the wisdom of religious tradition. To this end, he shares a great story...

"One of my favourite images of God is the ‘God of Surprises,’ which I first encountered in the novitiate. My own idea of God at the time was limited to God the Far Away, so it was liberating to hear about a God who surprises, who waits for us with wonderful things. It’s a playful, even fun, image of God. But I would have never come up with it on my own.

It came to me from David, my spiritual director, who had read it in a book of that same title, by an English Jesuit named Gerard W. Hughes, who borrowed it from an essay by the German Jesuit Karl Rahner."

I love this story. This kind of exchange of ideas, opening of perspectives, is one of the main reasons I'm passionate about faith communities too.

However, I couldn't help but notice Martin's teachers in this story were all white, male Jesuits. Of course, their perspectives are of value, but I find myself wondering... What other beautiful images may have come Martin's way in the novitiate had his teachers been from other religious traditions too? What wisdom may have arisen from being part of a community that did not mostly look like him? 

I love religion. I think it can be a beautiful, spirit-filled experience. I also think it can close us off... to other people and perspectives, yes; but, also, other ways of imagining religion, other ways of imagining communities of faith. If we truly believe in the God of Surprises, then shouldn't we be open to all possible imaginings? As Martin expressed, new images can be liberating. Perhaps new models of religion and spirituality can be too? LISTEN, LEARN, LOVE...

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HAVE I REALLY STOPPED TO LISTEN?

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

On Sunday, WAYfinding folks and friends got together for a sensory nature walk through a local park. The kids involved received a scavenger hunt list - things to touch, hear, see and smell. One of these items was to hear a bird. As my daughter and I took off, we felt rough and smooth bark, saw light streaming through the trees, heard friends laughing, but no birds. I remember thinking to myself, "Well, this is too bad. It must be too cold for the birds this morning. None of the kids are going to be able to complete their list." 

We went on like this for maybe 25 minutes when a question appeared in my mind's eye, "Have you really stopped to listen?" I had not. So, I scooped my daughter up, used the universal sign for "shhh," and asked her to close her eyes with mommy. And, there they were: the beautiful trills and chirps of birds high in the trees. It was a graced moment - one all too quickly interrupted by my daughter tapping my face and saying "no sleepy" - but a moment full of grace all the same. I simply had not stopped to listen.   

Does this ring true for you too? How often do we think we're listening - to our friends, kids, partners, even God - when, in fact, we're not? Because we haven't truly stopped... the external movement and noise, and internal chatter. LISTEN, LEARN, LOVE...

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QUESTIONING FAITH?

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

Have you heard of Jimmy Fallon's "Do Not Read" list? In this "bit," he humorously draws our attention to books we seemingly would not want to read because they're obviously too boring or unappetizing. The problem is I've wanted to read a few - not "The Complete Book of Exercise Walking" or "The Joy of Uncircumcising," but admittedly, I was somewhat curious about "The Natural History of Vacant Lots." I don't know, maybe it's the dormant urban planner in me or environmentalist. It doesn't really matter; the point is, it's a problem. It's why I have 6 partially read books and another handful of magazines on my nightstand at all times. My curiosity runneth over!

Curiosity may not lead to magazine-ready bedsides, but in my opinion, it does lead to the best kind of faith. When we wonder silently and aloud, ask our questions, read, study, discuss - especially with a range of voices - our faith becomes informed not just by our own listening or a minister's but by a communal wisdom. When we question faith, we open it up to a universe, a God, who is still "speaking," still trying to reveal Herself through His many expressions, still trying to draw us to peace. 

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THIS KIND OF LIFE DOESN'T JUST HAPPEN

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

We invite people to all sorts of things all the time. Some of us find it easy; others hard. It seems to depend a lot on who and to what we’re inviting. For many of us, there is something particularly uncomfortable about an invitation to a religious or spiritual experience. It doesn’t even seem to matter whether we’re the inviter or invitee. Why is this? What is it about faith that makes us resist its particular brand of invitation?

For me, part of the answer lies in why, over the years, it has gotten easier for me to invite others into spiritual spaces and conversations: I finally understand to what I’m really inviting them. It’s not an invitation to “the truth,” to having God all figured out or faith or life. It’s an invitation to a way, a process, a lens – to see the world as chockfull of grace and meaning, and intentionally lean into it. I resist less these days because I have experienced that this kind of life doesn’t just happen. It’s not baked into our culture. It requires intention, and for me, for most I think, the space and the diverse voices and the kind accountability of community. 

This is why I created WAYfinding and why it’s (mostly) easy for me to invite people to it.

What about you? What do you think spiritual invitation is really about? What do you think others think it’s about? Do you generally resist it or welcome it? Why? LEARN, LISTEN, LOVE… and join us this week in WAYfinding as we explore these questions and others:

Tuesday, 12:00p - 1:15p
Wednesday, 7:00p - 9:00p
Wednesday, 7:00p - 9:00p (Mom's Group)
Email me for locations. All in Broad Ripple/SoBro area. 

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WHY THE JESUS STORY MAKES ME HAPPY

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

Did you know only 10% of long-term happiness is based on the external world? 90% is how our brain processes the world we find ourselves in!* 90%! It's quite a staggering number, and a number that begs the question, "How can I train my brain toward happiness?" 

This week in WAYfinding, we're asking this question and exploring its connections to faith, to spirituality. One key connection is through something I call our "belief narratives." At WAYfinding, we are open to all beliefs. But, this has never meant we think beliefs are neutral or don't matter. We think they matter a great deal! Perhaps the main reason why is this: our beliefs shape how we process the world; they are the narratives that play "on loop" in our head, shaping our joy (or lack thereof) and actions.

For me, I've always been a fan of the Jesus story. Specifically, I like the resurrection. Now, understandably, you may be sarcastically thinking, "Real original, Anne" or "Oh, here we go, she's finally going to tell me how Jesus saves my soul." But, bear with me, because that's not my point at all. I like the resurrection story best because it shapes my thinking on pretty much everything; it is my central "belief narrative." However bad things get in my own life, however absurd the world seems, the resurrection story reminds me this day is not the end. It doesn't much matter whether it's a "true" story - at least not for me - because, for me, either way, it points to the nature of God, the universe. It says to me that with God there is always tomorrow and tomorrow is a resurrection story.  

This is my belief. It's how I process the world, my life, and because of this, I'm ultimately optimistic, internally resilient. I believe God is for me, for you, for the whole world, that God desires our resurrection - in my mind, just a fancy, theological word for our healing, wholeness, spiritual unfolding.

What about you? What stories, what belief narratives, play "on loop" in your head? Are they ultimately helpful, opening you to joy and love? Or, not? LISTEN, LEARN, LOVE below and join us this week at WAYfinding:

Tuesday, 12:00p - 1:15p
Wednesday, 7:00p - 9:00p
Wednesday, 7:00p - 9:00p (Mom's Group)
Email me for locations. All in Broad Ripple/SoBro area. 

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COMMUNITY: WHAT'S THE POINT?

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

The fall round of WAYfinding starts this week, and we're kicking things off with a discussion on community. Namely, what's the point? Why do we choose to do life with others? What does a community do for us - individually and collectively? What should it?

Maybe we gather to share a drink and a laugh? Or prayers? A listening ear? Maybe it's about service and the collective good? Or networking? Or worship? Or alternative perspectives? Accountability? Advice? Growing in love? Or...

Then, there's the question of principles - which ones matter? And, who's at the table? The list goes on. The key, I think, is to wonder and to ask. Not to fall blindly into community as it's always been simply because it's always been. Maybe there is a better way - a way that leads to more peace and wholeness, more joy.

What do you think? LEARN, LISTEN, LOVE... and consider joining the conversation at WAYfinding this week. Contact me for group times and locations.

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PERSPECTIVES

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

It had been an exhausting week: busy work schedule; sick toddler; midnight power outage and accompanying loud, electricity workers; packing. I thought I'd feel relief when finally on the plane to Seattle; instead, I was homesick. Strangely, I longed for the familiarity of my day-to-day life, however chaotic.

Fast forward 2000 miles and 24 hours. I've slept and woken up to Mt. Rainier, showered, and am now eating delicious food with my husband, sister and her fiancé. I feel almost giddy. The energy of a new city and a vacation without a certain (beloved) child has sunk in. Life looks different and me in it. 

Such experiences remind me, remind us, new perspectives are vital to seeing clearly. Stuck looking at life from one vantage for too long, and we forget. We forget parts of ourselves, that we once saw the world differently, and therefore, might again. We need these experiences to remind us that the kaleidoscope turns and is beautiful here too.

The same is true of faith. If God or the Divine is ultimately a mystery to us - and I would argue this is necessarily the case - then trying to traverse this Mystery from one perspective is too limiting (not to mention hard). We need others to lend us their perspectives, to reach up and turn our kaleidoscope. 

This is exactly what we try and do for each other every week at WAYfinding. It's not perfect. Community never is. But, maybe, it's necessary. Maybe to see a true image of God, we have to engage in God talk with people of diverse perspectives. In the absence of perpetual travel, we have to find a way to new perspectives ourselves.

What do you think? LISTEN, LEARN, LOVE...

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THE SHAPE OF MY HEART

| ANNE WILLIAMSON |

One of my favorite books to read my daughter is The Shape of My Heart by Mark Sperring. It runs through a series of shapes and their role in our lives concluding with, “And this is the shape I love you with. This is the shape of my heart.” So sweet. 

Lately, though, it’s become more than a heartwarming children’s book for me; it’s become a question: how do we form the shape of our hearts? How do we? How do we actually become more compassionate, more loving? 

There are a thousand stories every day – personal and not – that pull us to explore this question.  But, recently, none has pulled my attention like the death of Michael Brown in Ferguson, MO. (You may find a timeline here.) The analysis of, and responses to, this event and its aftermath has been so diverse, it begs the-shape-of-our-hearts question. How is it that we feel so differently? 

Perhaps it is because we’re not actually practiced in changing the shape of our hearts? The reason being: to really change the shape of our hearts requires deep discomfort. It can’t be achieved through loving someone you find easy to love. It comes when you expose your heart to that, to who, you struggle to understand, you struggle to empathize with, you struggle to love, and then say to your heart, repeatedly, as many times as it takes, “Open.” Whether a spouse we know intimately or a young urban black man we don’t know at all, we change the shape of our hearts by, as Jesus said, loving the “enemy” we perceive in them.

It is my belief this is the work of real spiritual growth. Whether we call it “salvation” or “enlightenment” or “nirvana,” it is not a destination but a process of changing the shape of our hearts. It’s a process where, instead of hoping to love some people well, we, in time, shape our hearts into a form where there is nothing but love… for all. 

What do you think? LISTEN, LEARN, LOVE…

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